"That's What They Want You to Think" Sports Blog

Wildcard Weekend 2011

2011-01-08T11:53:00.000-08:00

Yeah, it's been a whole year. Just look how prophetic I am. 3-1 in my 2010 Wildcard picks and spent a good couple paragraphs essentially expressing that Ben Roethlisberger is a frickin moron of epic proportions. Thank you for proving me 100% right, Big Fraud. Maybe he should have gone with the post concussion defense for his nightclub "activities". Ben Roethlisberger makes those of us without daughters happy to only have boys. Thanks again, Ben. Like parents with college aged daughters didn't have enough to worry about.

saints -10 over SEAHAWKS

The Seehawks are beyond awful. The worst playoff team in history. No offensive weapons, below average defense and either no QB or the arthritic artist formerly known as Matt Hasselbeck. Loudest stadium, top 2 RB's gone for the Saints, don't matter. Drew Brees ain't bothered by noise, please. And once it's 17-0 or so, it won't be real loud. Kudos to Pete "ra-ra" Carroll, but his cupboard is bare.

Saints 37-13

ny jets +2.5 over COLTS

Sorry, Peyton, you just don't have the talent to pull this off. You'll make a valiant effort, throw some ridiculous passes, but this is the least talented team you've had in your 10 year playoff run. No way, not with this cast. Jets were built for this game. Couple picks are inevitable. And the Jets will score, with some big pass plays with the Colts stacked up to stop the run.

Jets 34-23

Ravens -3 over CHIEFS

Chiefs are getting there, but they ain't there. The Raiders man-handled them. If the Ravens can over-come John Harbaugh's crazily conservative offense, they've got something. Maybe Harbaugh will be a little more aggressive now that his brother makes a lot more money than him. Not that it matters in this game.

Ravens 31-13.

EAGLES -3 over packers

Another theme from last year that we are sticking with is Aaron Rodgers being a loser. He almost drove the Packers right out of playoffs putting up absolutely nothing at home against the Bears in the win or go home finale. Until he wins a meaningful game, he remains a loser. I'll even take a banged up Vick, that shakey Iggles defense and their wacky coach giving three points. Expect Rodgers to do what he does when it matters, throw the big INT or fumble the game away, ah la 1 year ago agaisnt the Cardinals. He's lost every game that's ever mattered in his career. He is a fantasy football stud, and a loser when it matters. He's the polar opposite of 2001 Tom Brady, and you don't want to be polar opposite of any kind of Tom Brady, at least as far as football is concerned.

This is Vick's year if he is not too hobbled and doesn't get too crunched today, he will triumph. The attention paid to him opens huge gaps for McCoy, and with his weapons, he can be unstoppable. Just ask Tom "I almost beat the crap out of my punter on live tv" Coughlin.

Eagles 38-30

NFL Wildcard Weekend (Yeehaa!)

2010-01-09T10:44:00.000-08:00

Too busy to blog most of the season, but we’re back for the playoffs. We are most sad, because Ben "the Big Fraud" Roethlisberger did not make it into the playoffs to provide more fun. In BF’s first year without a dominant offensive line and defense, he misses the playoffs. What a shame. He has enjoyed one of the most charmed NFL career’s in history with a historically dominant O-line, running game and defense. All of that was gone once Polamalu went down this season. And what did we get, abject mediocrity. I have to get my Fraud bashing in here because we are only one or two more concussions away from his career being over. Concussions are cumulative, deal with it. And the Fraud, rocket scientist that he is, started the downhill slide by wrapping his head around metal in his helmetless motorcycle accident. Genius, pure genius. So you’ll forgive if I gotta take a bite out of the Fraud, because he’ll only be here another couple years at most to kick around.

On to the Playoffs. I have to start with the chosen one, Saint Aaron Rodgers. Adored and lusted after my the media. A trendy pre-season MVP pick. The helmsman of the trendy Superbowl pick out of the 5 seed. Winners of 7 of their last 8. Remember these two things about Aaron Rodgers: His career record: 17-15. His career record in games that really matter 0-3. (The two Favre games and the Steelers game). That 7-1 streak to end the season started with an impressive Defense-driven victory over Dallas in which the ‘Boys were shut out until the final seconds. Other than that, they had a solid win at home against the Ravens. The rest of it, wins against the 49ers, Lions, Bears, Seahawks and a determined to lose bunch of third string Cardinals. Also in there, the loss to the Steelers which could have allowed the Packers to compete for the division.

Winners win and losers lose. Aaron Rodgers is a loser, and you will see it on Sunday afternoon at Arizona. Filled with boy like giddiness from his week 17 trouncing of the Cardinals and the never ending supply of sexual favors from the media, St. Rodgers will go out there with all the confidence in the world. Until he realizes that his team is behind and he needs to lead the comeback. Then he will be torn. How can he take sacks to preserve his passer rating and strive for victory at the same time. Facing a proven Superbowl winner and playoff battle tested Cardinals team, who have the luxury of a second straight year of "nobody believes in us" positive Karma, watch out.

The Packers will lose this game because their Quaterback is a loser. A media created giant among men. His huberus cannot help but be inflated by the media love-fest. He is the opposite of Tony Romo. Everyone has been dumping on Romo ever since he landed the starting job. He has failed and failed again and in response has worked harder and harder. Aaron has never succeeded professionally, but has never been critiqued. How hot can his fire burn when he has been anointed without accomplishment?

You saw it here and only here with every fool with a word processor from here to eternity picking the Packers. The Cardinals will not only win, but you will see St. Rodgers do his thing, lose on the big stage. But I promise you this. You will not get any critique or questioning of the Saint. After he blows it, the analysis will be "great learning experience" / "he’ll grow from this" / "he’ll be back" / "won’t be long before we see him in the Superbowl" etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum, ad nauseum.

Cardinals 30-20

The Patriots. What to make out of those head scratching Patriots. So hard to figure. I will have to channel my inner Dennis Green and conclude that "they are who we thought they were". A team with an 8-0 home record in 2009. Paired with a 1-6 road record. (Beating the Bucs in London does not count). Brady had a deceiving season with 28 TD’s, 13 INT’s and a hair under 4400 yards. The deception: 10 of those TD’s in routs over the Titans (who entirely quit in the snow) and the Jags (who didn’t seem to know why they were there in the first place). Throw those out and in Brady’s other 14 games, in which the Pats went 8-6, he was threw for an utterly mediocre 18 TD’s and 13 INT’s.

It is not humanly possible for Brady and Belichick to have the fire they had when they were who they used to be. Brady, the no name sixth round draft pick that nobody wanted. Belichick, the guy who could only win under Parcells and was a failure on his own. These guys had something to prove, chips on their respective shoulders. Belichick lived in his office, devising staggering defensive schemes that turned Peyton Manning into quivering jelly. (Side note that I have never heard anyone say before. Manning had years of losses to the Patriots and playoff anguish. Having seen everything conceivable from the Belichick the motivated, Peyton learned and processed it all. Now, there is nothing that can be thrown at him that he does not instantly analyze properly. Belichick helped make the beast that is Peyton today)

No more 18 hour work days from Billy. A reduced fire from Brady. And before you Patriot yahoos take up the pitchforks, riddle me this: How can the 2010 Tom Brady even be compared, in terms of fire and having something to prove, to the 2001 Brady. Nevermind the same person, they are not even the same species. The jubilant kid happily and honestly wanting to share his first SB MVP truck with the team calling it a "team truck". He used to be a maniac, running around like a hepped up psycho in pregame intros and after scores. He was poor, (relatively speaking) young and hungry.

Now he’s a multi-millionaire, married to a woman who makes 5 times as much money as he does and has much greater career longevity, and a three time Superbowl winner. What does Tom have to be hungry about now? He can never catch Peyton as the greatest of all time any longer. Peyton is getting better and Brady is getting worse. And don’t give me the knee injury. Peyton stunk for 7 games after his and then went 12-0 and won the Superbowl. Brady, continues to tread water while mired in mediocrity and developing a penchant for throwing 4^th quarter interceptions. Just how hungry can Brady be, as he drives his home valued car back to his island valued home (take your pick of which)?

This is the same guy, who after knocking up former girl friend, said that he did not want to get married until the twilight of his career, late 30's. Instead he marries the Brazilian supermodel a matter of months after using this as his excuse to dump knocked up girlfriend. Maybe I’m being too harsh. Maybe Brady really meant it and knows now is the twilight of his career, so he decided to settle down. This won’t happen. He will keep coming back. Keep playing ok. Absent Donte Stallworth, this was essentially the same offense that broke every record in 2007. What was different? Only Brady’s performance. Mediocre. No more, no less. Unless he’s padding his stats in a snow game that the other team quit in. Then he really lights it up.

And remember, Belichick is not the same guy either. No longer in his early fifties, but just about sixty. No longer avoiding his wife by sleeping in his office. No longer with anything to prove. I don’t want to raise the Spygate flag again, but I have to make this point. Since being caught for cheating (it is what it is, Billy, you’ve taught us that over the years) the Patriots have 2 playoff victories, both in 2007. Against the worthless Jaguars and eeking one out against a Chargers team more injured than Eric Idle in European Vacation. Then, of course, they racked up a big 14 points in the Superbowl loss to the Giants. (Remember Brady on media day for that Superbowl. Laughing his ass off and saying "is Plaxico playing defense?" in response to Plax’s prediction of a Giants victory that was stunningly close to the actual store. The smugness was staggering. This is the difference between 2001-2004 Brady and the celebrity QB that now lives there. Old Brady would have said we do our talking on the field, or we’ll have to see kind of thing. Not get all smug, arrogant and condescending.) Also, remember, that since Spygate the Pats have been consistently out-adjusted after half time. Makes you wonder.

Ravens easily could have won week 3 at Foxborough without a dropped pass. The Patriot loss will be the final removed brick that will expose the collapse of the dynasty that has been dead for years.

Conventional wisdom says that the Patriots, undefeated team at home this season, undefeated at home in the playoffs with Brady and Belichick, will win this game against the Ravens. I just don’t see it. The fallacy of the dynasty will finally de destroyed. Harbaugh is hungry, Flacco is hungry, and you know Ray Lewis and Ed Reed are hungry. The fat-cats on the other side of the field, I’m not so sure. I know they’re hungry, but not hungry like they used to be, and certainly not hungry like the wolf. Nuff said.

Ravens 27-19

Bill Simmons raised the possibility that the Eagles were playing possum last week against he Cowboys in not wanting to tip their hand for the rematch. Now, I love the Sports Guy, but I think the Sports Gal may be feeding him crack in his Corn Flakes. The Eagles would have had a 1^st round bye, an overall 2 seed and only would have seen the Cowboys again in the NFC championship game. This is pure nonsense. Not one of his brightest thoughts, but I do love the "Big Book of Basketball", so there. I just got up to Dominique in the Pyramid and then watched the Hawks beat the Celtics, so I think this is somehow Bill’s fault.

If the Eagles had, in fact, played possum, then Andy Reid’s brain must have been switched with that of a possum. Eagles wanted to win, without a doubt. The Cowboys, who have been as talented, if not more talented, than any team in the NFL for the past three years, are finally playing like it.

They lose a tight one at home to San Diego, everyone’s consensus pick for best team, and then beat New Orleans in the Big Easy, Washington and Philly (playing with everything on the line), the last two by shut outs. They can pressure the QB, cover and stop the run on defense. They have a dominant running game and QB playing as well as anyone. A receiver who has taken the leap. If they can reign in their demons: penalties, coaching blunders and turnovers, they will be in the Superbowl. People can dish all they want on Jerry Jones, but his personnel team have put together a juggernaut.

The Eagles did not blitz at all in week 17, so expect the kitchen sink to come out this week. Don’t expect it. Bet on it, even your first born. Eagles got killed not blitzing and have had success in the past blitzing Romo. Unfortunately for the Eagles, Romo and Garrett know this and will be ready for this. Watch for some huge plays on draws and screens, as well as hot reads. I even see Roy E. Williams breaking loose for a big one. The E. stands for "Egadds" by the way.

This is not the start, but the continuation of something special.

Cowboys 38-17

I gotta keep the Jets Bengals short because I am out of time. Mark Sanchez stinks like cat piss. Everyone seems to think week 17's Jet thrashing of the Bengals means something. It doesn’t and you should know better. Sure the Bengals played almost everybody and got thrashed. But they had one very important participant wholly absent that day. Emotion. Football is all about energy and emotion. You can’t play a game that means nothing to you against a team that is playing for their playoff lives at home. You can play it. But, you ain’t going to win it.

How to beat the Jets: Put 9 guys in the box (Screw 8) and dare the Sanchize to beat you. He may get a play or even a score out to Braylon, but he stinks. And the more he throws the more the Jets stink. Sexy Rexy knows this. The Jets know it. The Bengals know it. Everyone seems to know it except every talking head giving the Jets the victory.

Rookie coach. Rookie QB, who stinks by the way. How bad you ask? 63.0 QB rating. 53.8% completion percentage. 12 TD’s and 20 INT’s. In the last 7 games he has played, he has 4 TD’s and 10 INT’s. And ZERO quality wins.

In the Jets ultra impressive 5-1 finish: Panthers, Bills, Buccaneers and the white flag waiving Colts and Bengals (while losing to the Falcons). Their QB averaged 107.6 passing yards per game in those 5 wins. No really, that’s not a typo. You can’t win on the road with a crappy QB and no passing game. You just can’t. Someone should tell Sexy Rexy that it is not 1985 anymore. With the rule changes and their ultra mediocre offense and sub-par passing game, the 1985 Bears would not win a Superbowl today. You need to be able to pass and score, among other things, to win today. And the Bears passing game was mediocre at best. They would be a force, but they would not win today, as previously constructed in 1985. And if the Bears couldn’t do it, these Jets are certainly not going to do it.

The media has provided plenty of "nobody believes in us" fodder for the Bengals and they will use it to their advantage, not that they need to because they are facing the only starting NFL QB who can fairly be compared to Jamarcus Russell.

Bengals 23-10

NFL Week 5 and more

2009-10-11T06:16:00.000-07:00

Sox are done. Congrats to MLB for having the most moronic schedule ever. Sox Angels played the first two games of their series with first pitch at 6:37 pm Pacific time. Now, after the cross country trip following the Sox doing their Tony Romo at the plate impression (aka, rolling over and playing dead) in the first two games, game three has first pitch scheduled for 9:07 am, Pacific time. That's not a typo, 9 am, on the west coast. 12:07 pm on the east coast. That's so early that Terry Bradshaw won't even have had a chance to say something stupid.

The MLB playoff scheduling is more and more foolish each year. Combine that with today's kids' 0.37 sec attention span and 4+ hour games, and you will have no fans once us oldies die off. Good job MLB. I heard Bud Selig interviewed recently on Boston radio/tv and he had the gaul to respond to questions about the "steroid era" with incredulity. Astonishing. The steroid era, which I consider to be his baby, was cultivated on his watch. With juiced up roid ragers Sosa and McGwire hitting moon shots night after night, his ratings returning, the credibility of his sport being forever tarnished, he beamed. He's a despicable fellow. The incredulity of the "commish" at even the very concept of the steroid era, and he was incredulous with a straight face, is the most stunning falsehood I have ever witnessed. Well, maybe that or a sitting president saying that a $900 billion health care bill will not add one penny to the deficit with a straight face. We try to stay out of politics here, and at risk of losing one half of my readers, no matter which side of the fence you are on, no one can really believes that, not even him.

Yes, Selig the despicable, good job. The Angels fans need to be in front of the tv's at 9:00 am, but the next game today does not have first pitch scheduled for 7 hours later. Maybe a 4pm east coast start, ya think? Idiota. Didn't have time to blog it, so can't call myself prophetic, but this sox team was never going anywhere because they can't hit good pitching and they haven't hit it all year. Ortiz might as well be out there with a toothpick. Mike Lowell looks in so much pain moving around that it makes me feel young. Ellsbury is showing his true colors. The studs, Pedroia and Youkilis, are nowhere to be found. Jason Bay is a fraud. JD Drew reminds of Generation Text, what I call the youths today. Do just enough to earn your paycheck, no more.

Sox are done cause they are old and in part, not that it would matter, but because Terry does not have the stones to bench the artist formerly known as David Ortiz. If you would ever doubt whether he would, read my "Franconomics" blog from a year or so ago. Terry will always "stand by his man", Tammy Wynette style. Don't be shocked to see the Sox take game 3, although I don't see it, due to the ridiculous proposition of having the Angels on the field during breakfast time. But, it's over. If they can wipe the sleepies out of their eyes, they will tattoo Bucholz, which I am too lazy to make sure I am spelling correctly. Good move by the way, Terry, skipping Dice-K for game 4. He was only your best September pitcher, a notorious big game stud, and oh by the way, was 18-3 with a 2.90 ERA. I hope the Sox trade him because they treat poor Dice-K like a lepher with swine flu. Much better to have fatigued Lester and Beckett in games 4 and 5, not that you'll make it there anyways. They were so dominant on full rest.

On to the NFL. My two running themes that will continue until I am proven wrong. Aaron Rodgers, ultra trendy preseason MVP pick, continues to underwhelm week after week. Career record, 8-12. With the team that old man Favreau took to the championship game. He's not a winner. But, he will get less and less guff from me each week as Tony "roll over and play dead" Romo / Rolo Tomase continues to show that he is an unabashed and unquestionable gutless, worthless and heartless loser. A piece of garbage. The Cowboys are 2-2 and are 4th in the NFL in offense. Yet, they scored 10 points in Denver last week where Tony single handedly cost the 'Boys their second loss of the season. He's terrified out there and now playing scared, never a good thing. He's completing under 60%, passer rating under 80, has four picks, and a lost fumble and Tony doesn't just committ your average turnover. Tony turns it over, the other team scores touchdowns. He is absolutely killing his team. His team, with a massive Hogs-esque offensive line, are churning up the running yards. The D is holding its own, but Romo is ripping the heart and spirit out of his team. And what has happened to Demarcus Ware? 20 sacks last year and none this year. Nothing will heal that problem like a KC offense.

Tony, you piece of garbage, you make me sick and you are killing the 'Boys. And he is getting less and less accurate each week. I predict that by season's end Romo will have Marsha Brady-ed some poor cheer leader's nose. It's really getting that bad. You heard it here.

32-28, yes our picks stink this year. Home team in CAPS.

min -10 over STL. I know I say it every week, but come on. The Rams, really Spags, that was your choice? Really?

dal -7.5 over KC Even Romo the piece of garbage can't blow it against this team, or can he?

was +4 over CAR I want to know what the ratings for this game on Monday night would be. Who's worserer? (yes I know it's not a word) Romo, Delhomme, or Campbell? I'm officially pining for a Romo for Orton trade. He's the perfect QB for the Boys. You know, doesn't kill a talented team surrounding him, wins, and isn't a sack of crap. How'd I get on Romo again, dammit?

PHI - 15.5 over tb Raheem Morris, come on over and join Romo in the sack of crab section

NYG - 15 over oak OK, Russell is worse than Romo. He's the single worst starting QB ever. Cable must have transferred his QB frustration onto that assistant coach that he gave the Chris Brown treatment to.

BUF -6 over cle I don't get the Bills. 38-7 egg against Chad Henne's first start. But I can't pick a team that has more grievances filed against their coach than scores.

BAL -8.5 over cin Bengals pay for the Ravens' dropped pass on 4th down that was leading to the winning drive over the Pats last week.

pit -10.5 over DET Culpepper is starting. Nuff said.

atl +2.5 over SF Still don't believe in the niners.

ne - 3 over DEN Finally, Denver gets exposed. Brady goes off in the hoodie bowl.

hou +5.5 over AZ Because I like looking stupid each week after picking the Texans.

SEA -1 over jax Matt "my sister in law is more sturdy than me" Hasselback back for a few plays at least.

ind -3.5 over TEN Manning is "en fuego". Yes, I'm old.

nyj - 1.5 over MIA This should be really interesting. Wildcatting fins against the crazed Jets' D.

Tony Romo the Loser

2009-10-04T16:25:00.000-07:00

Tony Romo is a complete piece of garbage. A sack of crap. I hope he gets hit by a bus and is uninjured, but unable to ever play again. It hurts when you're hoping for Jon Kitna. Single handedly leading his team to a loss against the massively undertalented Broncos.

Week 4

2009-10-04T09:33:00.000-07:00

25-21 through three weeks with a couple missed games. Blame the editor. No time when you are sitting down at 12:34 to write for week 4. Busy busy.

Quick thoughts. Jets D with top two corners down will get torched indoors in New Orleans. Wouldn't be my blog if I didn't spend a few seconds pointing out that Aaron Rodgers sucks ass. Everybody's trendy MVP pick goes to 2-2 this week. His two wins, by the way came against Jay Cutlers 27 INT game and the Rams. He's a Fraud. Steelers go to 1-3 because their O-line stinks and Ben remains the Big Fraud. Ain't so special without a dominant O-line and killer running game are you Benny?

Romo, oh, I'm sorry, I meant Tony "roll over and play dead when it matters" Romo, aka Rolo's implosion on Jerry's stadium opening night may be a blessing disguise. His putrid performance in big games has tricked their sub-idiotic coaching staff to realize: "Hey, we've got a massive, strong O-line and 3 front line running backs (ok 1 and half this week with injuries), why don't we just run all over people." Denver gets exposed as fraudulent beneficiaries of their wussy schedule. Cowboys over 7 yards per carry. Just spice in Rolo throws here and there and they'll be fine. Run the ball, idiots.

That's all the time I have. Picks, home team in CAPS:

HOU -8.5 over oak

ten -3 over JAX

NE -1.5 over bal Brady finally with all weapons will beat the blitz this week.

cin -6 over CLE Browns fan should get some heroin, a spoon, needle, lighter and ease their pain. Don't do drugs kids, this is an adult blog. Don't take everything so literally.

nyg -8.5 over KC Was Pioli just riding Belichick's coattails all these years with Billy making all the big decisions? Hmmmm.

det +9.5 over CHI Just a cover, let's not get crazy,

WAS -7.5 over tb Don't hire unexperienced teens to coach your team and have him fire the offensive coordinator days before the season and leave $100 billion of unspent cap room. Just sad.

IND -10 over sea Manning in league of his own at moment.

NO -7.5 over nyj Brees is SO tough indoors and Jets are missing two of top three corners.

buf +1 over MIA Over under on wildcat with Chad Henne as starter? 20. Bet the over, why not? And how bout Ronnie Brown mixes in a throw, they've been setting this up for weeks.

SF -9 over stl The Rams, Spags, really? That was your choice?

dal -3 over DEN Another 200+ rushing yards for the 'Boys and the Broncos get exposed now that they're finally playing a pro team. Granted Bungles can play this year, but Broncos crazy last play fluked em. Boys by 20+.

sd +6 over PIT Straight up win for Chargers. Steelers are done and the Big Fraud is finally exposed.

MIN -4 over gb Aaron Rodgers, where'd all that MVP talk go?

RolloTomasi; NFL Week 3

2009-09-26T09:38:00.000-07:00

Tony Romo has finally earned himself a nickname. Rolo. Inspired by the name made up by Guy Pearce’s Lt. Edmund Exley in the brilliant film “L.A. Confidential”. Rollo Tomasi is the name Exley gives to the unknown gunman who shot and killed his father. Rollo Tomasi is the one who got away with it. I’m dropping the second “L” and we are going to officially nickname Tony Romo, Tony Rolo. Yes, partly because he’s the one who gets away with. Gets away with one hideous performance after another in the only games he’s ever played in that mattered. But, more so, because he rolls over and plays dead like the dog he is.

Tony Romo is a loser. He wilts on the big stage under the lights. If there is a big game, you can count on Tony Rolo to roll over and cough that game up. For the record, this is from a Cowboys fan, but it is undeniable. Rolo is a loser. Whenever it really matters, he royally screws the pooch for his team. Often, all by himself. Let’s a take a look at his history. In each of his four years, 2006 to the present, there has been one game that has really mattered to the Cowboys, and Rolo has blown it, each and every time. He’s a bum. A piece of garbage. A snake oil salesman. He ropes you in with big plays and uncanny escapability and improvisations. But’s it all a tease, when it really matters, Rolo will blow it. Without a doubt. And we know this for sure, without question. Because he has always blown it and done it in such a dazzlingly disastrous manner, that it is painful to watch. Let’s go to his history.

In his four years, there has been one game each year that has mattered, and here they are: 2006. Takes over the team and leads them to the playoffs against Seattle. This, by the way, is by far his best performance in a meaningful game. Tony Rolo goes 17-29, 189 yards with a touchdown and no interceptions. Not bad, nothing special. However, Rolo, aka “bobble boy”, botches the hold on the would-be game winning field goal and the Cowboys lose 21-20. Big stage, big choke. Score one for Tony rolling over.

2007. Following a dominant 13-3 season and home field advantage through out the playoffs, Rolo comes out against the Giants and leads his team to 17 big points. 18-36, 201 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT. QB rating:64.7. Just bad enough to lose to a team that the Cowboys massively out-gained and controlled the clock on. This was Rolo’s last playoff appearance, because here comes 2008.

Needing just two wins out of their final four games, Rolo leads the Cowboys to a 1-3 finish to miss the playoffs. 2nd to last game was against Baltimore at home. Romo completes 53.3% of his passes along with 2 TD’s and 2 INT’s in a 33-24 loss. Final week. All the Cowboys need to do is beat the Eagles in Philly. Rolo goes 21-39, 183 yards, no TD’s and one INT. Passer rating: 55.8. Eagles 44 -Cowboys 6. Ouch

The only good news for Rolo is that 2009 is not written yet. In the home opener, in front of 105,000+ crazed fans at Jerry Jones’ behemoth stadium, Rolo turns in his biggest choke ever. 13-29, 127 yards, 1 TD, 3 INT’s. All 3 INT’s led to Giant touchdowns in a 33-31 heart breaking loss. The Cowboys kicked the ever living crap out of the Giants. They ran all over them and the defense was more than holding its own. But, don’t worry Giants fans, Tony Rolo is under center. Against a secondary decimated by injuries Tony throws as many TD passes to Giants as he does to his own team. And all three INT’s lead to Giant TD’s. Rolo completed only 10 more passes to his teammates than he did to the Giants. Any other starting QB in the league would have rode his team’s dominant performance to victory. Not Rolo. It was a big game. It was a meaningful game. So we know what we are going to get from Rolo, a garbage performance. Winners win and losers lose. And then there’s Tony roll over and play dead Romo. If the game matters, you’d be better off putting Ryan Leaf back there. The Cowboys will never win with Rolo as their QB. Sure they’ll tease you and put up some big numbers and maybe even stumble into the playoffs every once in a while. But, once there, you know what’s coming. Number 9 will make sure the opponents win because he is a loser.

QB’s are judged by rings and their performance in big games. Rolo is considered a star in this league and more and more Cowboys fans are wondering why. Without exception, every single big game of his life he has rolled craps. And until he doesn’t, until he wins a meaningful game, he’ll remain a loser. As an undrafted free agent, maybe the big contract and being a starter for the Cowboys is enough. He is too damn happy. Kind of like modern day Brady. Brady used to have the fire and be a crazed helmet head butting psycho on the field and after TD’s. Now he hangs out with celebrities and has his agents shoot at the paparazzi. You need the fire to win. Brady had the fire and we’ll see if it ever comes back. Or are 3 rings, a supermodel wife and countless millions upon millions of dollars too much to overcome.

Tony Romo, you’re a dog and a loser and you make us Cowboys fans sick. You go ahead and rack up some big numbers on Monday night and try to fool us again. You won’t fool me until you win a game that matters. I’ll be waiting for that next big game, Tony, and expecting you to roll over like the dog you are. Ladies and gentleman, I give you the Tony Romo era. Rolo Tomasi indeed.

Picks, last week 8-7, somehow we missed the Bal-SD game. For the season that puts us 16-14, but we’re picking it up starting this week. Home team in CAPS.

NYJ -2.5 over ten

HOU -4 over jax

Start job hunting Jack Del Rio

kc +9 over PHI

no Kolb quarterbacked teams should be giving 9 points, even to KC.

cle +14 over BAL

Mangenius, indeed. Lol.

NYG -6.5 over tb

Bet the farm on this one. Tampa is worst coached team in football with the worst talent.

DET +6.5 over was

Zorn will be joining Del Rio on unemployment soon. Lions break 19 game losing streak here.

gb -6.5 over StL

Everybody’s favorite budding superstar has two TD passes and home loss to the Bungles. Captain Overated Rodgers would be 0-2 if Cutler did not implode on Sunday night in week one.

MIN -7 over sf

Raise your hand if you hate Brett Favre. After going to 3-0 just wait to hear from everyone about Favre “playing within himself” and “managing the game”. He will bring the Vikings down before the season is over, don’t you worry.

Atl +4 over NE

Brady’s not Brady anymore. Belichick has lost his swagger. And the Patriots roster has more holes than a cheese cloth. That’s a throw out to our Food Network viewers. And I want to credit Bill Simmons for this one. The fire is gone from Belichick. How hungry and maniacal can you be after 3 rings and countless millions and undying devotion from your fans. Both Brady and Belichick. The end may be here and Bill Simmons called it.

chi -2 over SEA

Hasselbeck is as sturdy as a house built of toothpicks. I think his sister in law Elisabeth could kick his ass.

no -6 over BUF

Lots of points here, but the Bills just don’t matter.

SD -6 over mia

You can’t recover from that Monday night heartbreaker, fly cross country and compete with a legitimate team.

pit -4 over CIN

Bungles won in GB last week. What additional motivation could they possibly have? Nuff said.

den -1.5 over OAK

The AFC West is so bad it’s hard to know which was is up when they play each other. Could Josh McDaniels really be 3-0?

AZ -2.5 over ind

Kudos to the league’s best wide receiver making clear he would rather have balls thrown his way than win. Thanks twitter and brother Fitzgerald.

DAL -9 over car

This is where Tony “Rolo Tomasi” shines. In the game that doesn’t matter. Monday night. Dreadful Delhomme. For the record, if Delhomme had quarterbacked the Cowboys on Sunday night versus the Giants, the ‘Boys would have won.

NFL Week 2

2009-09-18T15:46:00.000-07:00

(This week we strive to over use the contraction "ain't", just to vex the English teachers)

I can't think of an NFL week one where we learned less than 2009 week one. What did we learn that we didn't already know? The Bengals stink. The Lions really stink. Brett Favre ain't that good. Aaron Rodgers remains Captain overrated. Brady's not quite Brady yet. The Bills will always find a way to blow it. The Chargers are injury prone.

Here's what we did learn though. The Jets defense is nasty. The Texans are an excellent offensive team and they got no offensive points against the Jets and were consistently dominated all over the place. Sure the Texans were down a receiver, but still, this was a drubbing. A road drubbing.

Some of this requires commentary, some is self explanatory. Lions and Bengals. Well, you get the point. Brett "the cancer" Favre. He single handedly destroyed the Jets and Eric Mangini last year. And what does he do this year? Decides that after an off season of throwing back Miller High Life's in his Wranglers, throwing the occasional pass to high school kids, that it's time to come back and ruin another team. This time we have the Vikings. T-Jack may not be able to throw a ball out of a dingy and have it hit water, but Sage Rosenfels is a talented back up who has never been given a chance. At least he knew the offense. Not Favre. Now, I don't think anyone will fight my contention that Favre is a not mensa member. Your QB needs brains in today's complicated NFL. Think Brady or the Mannings. Clearly smart guys processing plays and defenses. Favre, shows up a few weeks before the season and starts flipping through the playbook.

He has the NFL's best running back who carried him to victory in a game in which Favre needed 21 passes to reach 110 yards. That's 5.24 yards per pass. AP averaged 7.2 yards per carry. Favre, genius that he is, completed exactly one of his 21 passes to AP. Good thinking, cancer boy. The picks are coming, it's undeniable. By the way, what a honeymoon for Favre, first the Browns and now the Lions. Who's next, Boise St.? Actually it's SF, followed by the Favre-GB game in which the announcers will use the word Favre so much that he might actually spontaneously combust. Don't worry though, they play St. Louis the week after, so you can pretty much guarantee a 4-1 Minnesota start and one talking bobble head after another fawning over Favre's "transformation" and how he's "staying within himself". These phrases will beat you over the head by week five and probably even by the end of this week.

Just so you know, in the Vikings' first 9 games they play the Browns, the Lions twice, the Rams, and the 49ers. Their other opponents are legitimate so expect 6-3 / 5-4 range. AP is great, but Favre is a liability. He doesn't know the playbook, he doesn't care and he's earning almost a cool million a game. Not to mention the Wrangler money. You gotta love Favre. He has gone from generally beloved, to mildly annoying to unanimously hated by everyone but the starved Viking fans. Don't worry, by season's end they will hate him too and Favre will manage to be hated by almost every single, solitary NFL fan. Way to go, former 3 time MVP. It's hard to remember a time when Favre was good. Maybe his greatness was exaggerated by the low definition television area.

Aaron Rodgers. And no, I will not stop on him until people stop touting him as an MVP candidate. He has never done diddly squat in a game that mattered and just barely beat the Bears last week because Jay Cutler threw more interceptions than you would see at a Jake Delhomme concert. Well, not quite, but close. Win some big games, and then come back and see me. I am so sick of the Aaron Rodgers love train. He'll be 2-0 after beating the Bengals so let the MVP talk continue.

The picks. Last week despite a 7-2 start, we ended up 8-7. Stupid late games. Home teams in caps:

KC -3 over oak

Raiders had some nice moments last week, but they ain't going on the road on a short week and beating anybody. Even the artists formerly known as the Kansas City Chiefs. Remember when they used to have a defense and a running game? I think that was also back in the low def era. JaMarcus Russell's completion percentage in one of his best career games: 40%. Why is it that GM/Scouts and the rest of them don't think it's a problem if a quarterback is massively innacurate? It's a problem and it ain't gonna get much better. If you ain't accurate now, you ain't gonna be accurate in the future. See Tavaris Jackson.

Hou +6.5 over TEN

You either believe in Houston or not. They are the trendy "jump/sleeper" team this year. I'm not really sold. I think they can score and have some nice pieces on defense, but I'm just not buying the whole package. What I am sold on is that Kerry Collins stinks. The TEN defense is not what it was without the "Stomper". (Albert Haynesworth, who we must always remind you engaged in the single most cowardly act I have ever seen on a football field when he spiked \ the top of an opposing player's helmetless head to the tune of mulitple stiches and gushing blood.) $100+ million. Love to see the good people in the world rewarded.

Patriots -3.5 over JETS (or did we? see below)

I think that the Jets' smack talking this week has been intentionally devised by Rex Ryan. He knows the Pats will be amped up and they will be aiming for Kerry Rhodes who made the most incendiary comments this week. That's what the Pats do and the Jets know it, so they will be ready. This doesn't mean they don't score on Rhodes as they did to the Steelers' Smith a few years back who made similarly idiotic comments. It just means the Jets know the Pats aren't the unstoppable juggernaut they once were. They looked very shaky overall in week one and their offensive line was outplayed by Buffalo's and I, frankly, can't believe I just wrote that, but it is undeniably true.

If the Bills can get to Brady, and they did, the Jets know that they can. Now, they know they can't scare or rattle Brady with their comments and that is not the point of them. The point of the comments is to make this very important point. You are no longer a team in a class of your own. You are no longer so superior to the competition that all opponents must walk on egg-shells for fear of becoming bulletin board material. I am not picking the Jets to win or even cover (or am I?), but they will be in this game. They will hit Brady and they will have their chances. This is a shockingly flawed Patriots team at one position after another:

Secondary, almost a joke. Pass rush, even funnier. Tully Banta-Cain, you can get all the late sacks on Trent Edwards that you want in obvious passing situations, but the Bills's O-line is HISTORICALLY bad. And they controlled the Pats' D-line. Wilfork is the ultimate 3-4 nose tackle. He's still above average in the 4-3, but who the heck is he filtering the runners to? Gary Guyton? Pierre Woods? Eric Alexander? This Patriots defense is a disaster. They still win here but this team cannot win with this defense, they simply cannot. Or, do they? (yes i changed my pick after writing this section.)

Another major problem for the Pats' blitzkreig offense: No 3rd receiver, nevermind a 4th. Joey Galloway has been a complete bust. Of Brady's 39 completed passes, not one went to a wide receiver not named Moss or Welker. And Welker is still not up to full speed with his "leg" injury. Love that Patriot secrecy. 24 to Moss and Welker, 8 to the backs and 7 to the tight ends. And if Ben "dropsy" Watson doesn't turn into Jason Witten for the last few minutes of that game AND, the Bills don't fumble with under 2 minutes to go, the Pats are 0-1 with a home loss to the Bills. This 3rd receiver problem is huge. Because you only have to cover Moss and Welker, in addition to covering the tight end seam route. That's it. This is a far cry from 2007's limitless weapon offense.

The O-line is leaking blood like a stuck pig and their leading rusher had 32 yards in week one. Against the Bills. Brady is gonna put up his numbers and be Tom Brady, but this line is going to get him killed and they are dead without a third receiver. For how manys games can 58 year old Kevin Faulk bail you out on third downs?

You know what, screw it, I have talked myself into it. I'm taking the points and the Jets, even with the Rookie QB. I just couldn't live wth a Pats pick if the Jets pull the upset.

JETS -3.5 over pats

Cin +9 over GB

I have no tangible reason for this pick. Alright I have one. Every week there is at least one complete head scratcher of a game. This is it. Not a win for the bungles, but a cover.

min -10 over DET

The let's get Brett Favre reacclimated to the league by starting him out against junior college teams tour rolls on. The cancer might even average 6 or 7 yars per attempt this week.

new orleans even over PHI

Donovan McNabb, you blithering idiot. 31-10 lead. No QB on the other team. And you think it's a good time to start trying to run over defenders at the goal line. I would like to cite a line from "the Rainmaker" here. "You must be stupid, stupid, stupid." What did McNabb get on his wunderlich anyways? Wasn't it one of the lowest scores ever. Yay, Syracuse.

ATL -6.5 car

Poor Panthers fans. Jake Delhomme's one half of glory against the Patriots decimated secondary in the Superbowl has given him a career. For his career he has a QB rating of less than 85 and a career completion percentage of under 60. He ain't good. He was never good. Delhomme and John Fox won't survive the season because Jake Delhomme is going to kill all the Panthers all by himself.

WAS -10 over Stl

Really, Spags, you chose the Rams, really?

ari +3 over JAX

You don't have a home field advantage when your fans don't show up. And why has it been the Jags' mission in life to never have a viable receiver once Jimmy Smith retired?

sea +1.5 over SF

The 49ers are favored here, really? Did Mike Singletary flash his ass at the odds makers, too?

BUF -5 over tb

Poor Bills. They will get this one though.

cle +3 over DEN

When you need a miracle to beat the Bengals and your coach has downgraded your talent by 30% in one off-season, it's not good. Good job, Josh.

pit -3 over CHI

Can idiot boy Josh McDaniel actually be made to look good because Jay Cutler has no receivers and no offensive line and now no Urlacher? Maybe so. Jay's top receiver is a kick returner and former DB. This is not good. Just for the record, the Steelers O-line stinks and will get Roethlisberger killed this season.

nyg+3 over DAL

Come on, really, the 'boys are favored. They gave up 450 yards to TB. A team with no hope whatsoever. They were run all over by the bucs, who are just dreadful. Their offense is fine, but if that running D is any indication, Brandon Jacobs might empty that stadium by the middle of the 3rd. And I'm a Cowboys fan. There I admitted it. Their coaching is awful. Their penalties are always a problem and I'm not sure who those corners are.

MIA +3 ind

This is my opposite gut reaction pick. You gotta throw out the 4 turnover game last week. The Fins remain a hard nosed disciplined team. This might be the year the the Colts finally come back to earth. They have no receivers except Wayne. Joseph Addai looks slow for some reason and the Colts defense is, well the Colts defense. Wildcat away! Pennington to Fasano away!

NFL Preview and Week One

2009-09-13T09:25:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Serena Williams. She of 11 grand slam titles. Serena, who is in the conversation for the greatest female tennis player. For the record, Serena, it does not matter whether you said you were going to kill the Asian linesman or not. You promise to sutff the effing ball down her effing throat would accomplish the same thing. You are a HUGE liar. You don't know what you said, other players get away with this all the time. Where's a South Carolina Representative when you need one? Serena and her supporters have framed this as another case of the man keeping the minority down.

Serena appeared to pretty quickly realize how wrong she was and what damage she has done to her legacy and reputation, even showing a shard of of contrition. However, she and her supporters have made clear their position that had a white player done the same thing, they would not have been penalized. This is such an outrageous position, it is almost laughable. I have watched tennis for almost 30 years and have never, ever seen anything like this. Not even close. Even the nastiest Nastase or McEnroe tyrades never put anyone in fear for their safety. The linesman could be awarded a restraining order under the facts of this incident. Serena, an imposing physical figure, brandishing a racket, screaming and using the balls as props as she indicates her intention to have the linesman involuntarily deep throat the balls. You know what, I was clearly wrong and Serena is clearly right. That happens all the time and the players never get penalized. We all really tune into tennise for the WWE style smack talking.

I have to go and berate my cat.

NFL 2009, Week 1.

Conjuring up the minister from Spaceballs, this will have to be the short, short short version. Between children and wives with head-aches, I just don't have the time that I used to.

Here's what I know. The Steelers offensive line is piece of crap and is going to get Roethlisberger killed this year. Especially since he would rather take a 20 yard sack than throw it away and get a field goal. The Patriots defense will be attrocious. They don't have one secondary player who would guarantee himself a starting spot on another team. One young stud linebacker in Mayo. One talented underachieving linebacker in Thomas. The rest of the linebackers are question marks. They traded away Seymour leaving Ty Warren and Jarvis Green to chip in with Vince Wilfork. And, Vince, buddy, I'm beggin you. Get a spine and hold out for a contract. Does anyone else smell the knee injury coming. Vince Wilfork is playing out the 6th year of the most unfair contract ever. So unfair, that 6 year deals for rookies are no longer allowed. He is a top 3 nose tackle. And the Patriots are not going to pay him because they don't pay anybody.

That's about as far as I can go, much to my miserable chagrin. This laptop is a piece of crap, doesn't even have a word processing program and I can't type on it without my knuckles screaming like Serena after a bad call. I need to do this from my office and I unfortunately have not had time, so that leaves us with season picks and no comments. Happy happy joy joy.

Division Winners:

AFC East: Patriots
AFC North: Ravens
AFC South: Texans
AFC West: Chargers

NFC East: Giants
NFC North: Vikings (only because Favre will get injured and Sage will take over. You cannot win with Favre, he throws too many to the wrong team.
NFC South: Falcons
NFC West: Cardinals

AFC Wildcards: Steelers, Colts
NFC Wildcards: Bears, Cowboys

AFC Championship: Chargers over Ravens
NFC Championship: Vikings over Giants

Superbowl Champs: Chargers

League MVP: AP. (I know, that's going out on a limb.)

Steelers fail because of O-line. Pats lose because their defense stinks and because everyone will blitz them. They will still go at least 12-4/13-3, but will go down in the playoffs. Remember the Giants, Eagles and Ravens in the 2007 season. All of them blitzed the Pats silly and the Pats easily could have lost all three of those games. Ravens are going to be rock solid with budding star Flacco but lack the requisite firepower. Chargers finally have their year, when they will sail completely under the radar and finally get it done.

Week one picks, home team in CAPS:

ATL -4 over mia

BAL -12.5 over kc

phi -2.5 over CAR

CIN -5 over den (Josh Daniels will be fired this year and may not make it through 8 games, at 0-7)

min -3.5 over CLE (despite Favre. Minnesota will win despite Favre until he gets hurt and Sage leads them to Superbowl.

HOU -4 over nyj

jax +6.5 over IND

NO -13.5 over det

dal -4.5 over TB (Bucs should play in orange again this year, they will be that bad)

AZ -6 sf (don't fully trust coaches who show their junk to their teams during tyrades)

NYG -6.5 over was (domenik hixon, remember that name this year, he will be plaxerrific)

SEA -7.5 over stl (Spagnuolo has been coaching offers for a couple years now and he chooses St. Louis. Good luck Spags)

chi +4.5 GB (Packers and Aaron Rodgers are the two most overrated entities this year. watch them flounder. bears fly high with Cutler)

NE -11 over buf (pats have D issues but won't matter here. Would someone please tell Buffalo that when three of your offensive lineman have never taken a snap, that you are all done.)

OAK +10 over sd

Chicago is our upset special. That is all.

Celtics-Magic Game 6

2009-05-14T14:44:00.003-07:00

One of the coolest things about blogging is that you have your own personal time-stamped perspective out there. So everyone can see precisely how prophetic you were. Or how incredibly wrong you were. Stan Van Gundy is one home loss away from adding to the country’s record unemployment numbers. Did anyone see this coming when the series was 1-1. I did, from last blog, prior to game 3:

This is about the most irritated and personal that I have gotten, but Stan Van Gundy is a fat load of crap and his team hates his guts. Keep on screaming you loon, you’re screaming your team right out of the playoffs and right out of a job. Well, at least there’s that porn thing to fall back on, assuming he can still find it down there.

I’m so pleased with my analysis, I won’t even gloat any further. Here’s why the Magic are cooked. They hate their coach. You can’t be having public apologies and meetings the day before game six to get the coach and star player on the same page. Shaq nailed it when he called SVG the master of panic. He panics, spreads the tension to his team, and then they choke. All he had to do was not be SVG, and this series would be over. The Celtics have played consistently below par, and they are one win away. I would give anything to see Shaq behind the Orlando bench tonight. Doesn’t he live down there?

Here’s why this thing is over in six. 5 for 29. That’s what Ray Allen has shot from 3 point land in this series. It has to end sometime, and that sometime is tonight. Well, that’s part of it. The reality is that there will come a point in the game when the Magic will face adversity and their loony coach will be screaming and flailing his arms and generally doing his enraged Homer Simpson impression. And each Magic player will have some derivative of the following thought: "I’m so tired of this effing imbecile screaming. He’s blown the last two games, if he would just shut the eff up, we’d be in Cleveland right now." And that will be that. You don’t bleed for a guy you hate. You don’t leave it all out on the court.

There will come a point when everything is going wrong that the players will collectively and silently come to the only possible conclusion, which is that "with a new coach, next year, we’ll be unstoppable." And that will be that. I am going way out on a limb here as the Celtics have been unfathomably inconsistent. But, nonetheless, it’s over. SVG finished it.

The Celtics have played with as much heart as any other team in any sport under any set of circumstances. Their bench consists of two points guards and Brian Scalabrine. Nobody else plays. Alright, granted that under 6 foot Eddie House is really a shooting guard, but that obscures the point. They have a back up point guard who has been out of basketball for the better part of two years and an under sized back up shooting guard, PLUS, the white guy with the padded head band to protect from future concussions. This is a truly unprecedented and unparalleled run.

Quick thought on Perkins. He has defensively dominated Dwight Howard. Feed Howard the ball, keep feeding him the ball. And he can keep taking that running left handed ugly-assed hook shot that keeps clinging off the backboard. Perkins’ performance with an injured shoulder has been staggering. He has dominated Dwight Howard. Howard should feel humiliated. Watch the Magic "love" their coach after tonight’s game.

I told my wife before the playoffs that I felt something special might be coming from the Celtics. The 2008 title run was amazing as we watched the Celtics struggle through as they learned how to be a playoff team together. But this year’s Celtics have one thing that the 08 team never had. They are massive underdogs. Most picked the Bulls to beat them. Nearly everyone picked the Magic to beat them. The experts will tell you the Celtics will be lucky to lose by less than 50 per game to Cleveland.

Getting to Cleveland, which is now inevitable, will be an extraordinary achievement for this team. And I don’t want to say the G-word, so I won’t. But let’s just say that if there was zero chance he could come back, he would have already had the surgery. Never say never. It would be as big an upset as I can remember, but that’s wherein the fun lies. How many times do you have to watch a 1-AA team play Michigan, or a 32 point NFL playoff game deficit until the impossible happens? Until Michigan loses or the Bills complete the biggest comeback in NFL history? How many? Just enough times, until you finally see it happen. That’s, in large part, why we watch. And if you watch long enough, you will eventually see the impossible.

I’m not going to go crazy, but I will say this. Cleveland will not have played a competitive game in the better part of a month, by the time the Conference Finals roll around. They have not faced any adversity. They have not been under pressure. Just saying. It ain’t over before they suit em up. LeBron’s foul count is up to 20 in his last 19 games after another 3 in game 4. Try this one on for size. Lebron has had 3 fouls in both game 4's this year. Game 4's in which the series were over and the opponents had already packed. Refs evening up a little after calling almost no fouls for the first three games? Seems so. Throw out those six in two, and Lebron would have 14 fouls in his last 17 games.

There should be an investigation. Where’s Oliver Stone when you need him? Doctor Phil anyways. I think it’s more feelings related. Can’t control the Leb-Lust.

Mother's Day quick word

2009-05-10T09:11:00.000-07:00

Lebron foul count: With a shocking two fouls on the King in game 3, he is up to 17 fouls in his last 18 games.

NBA to Mavericks after they were cheated out of a possible game 3 victory: Sorry, the refs screwed it up. They didn’t just screw up, they robbed the Mavericks of their entire season, with one awful no-call. At 3-0, the series is over. Sorry, we didn’t call the foul that you were intentionally committing. NBA playoff officiating continues to deteriorate to woeful level. Why do these guys keep getting worse? Lebron commits less than a foul per game and teams are routinely screwed at the end of games. Or in the middle of games. Dwight Howard commits a foul on every screen he ever sets and routinely fouls Paul Pierce going to the hoop, but they never call it. Don't say it is green colored glasses. Watch the tape, these gyus are awful and it goes both ways. How about in game 2 where Baby touched the ball with both feet out of bounds and they still gave it to the Celtics. I loved the announcing team for Bos-Orl game 3 who were routinely stunned at calls or non-calls by the refs.

We’ve reached the point that it is overshadowing the game.

If the refs can stay out the way, look for something special from the C’s tonight.

LEB-LUST

2009-05-08T10:50:00.000-07:00

NBA PLAYOFFS ROUND 2:

(Fouls called on Lebron in last 17 games: 15)

Before we get down to it, let’s give King James his props, a well deserved MVP. He is the league’s best player and most valuable, without question. I don’t have to like it, but I’m not crazy enough to deny it. This is why it is all the more frustrating that the officials continue to act like American Idol groupies in the face of the King. Including the four game sweep of the Pistons and two game 1/2 of a sweep of the Hawks, the King, has been whistled for a staggering 15 fouls in his last 17 games. And that number is only slanted upwards because after calling only 2 fouls on the King in the first 3 games of the Pistons series, the refs realized it was getting a little silly and tried to even things up by calling 3 fouls on the King in game four.

He is undoubtedly the best player, with unlimited physical gifts. Do we really need to give the extra advantage of him being officiated like Jesus by 3 Bishops? It is just plain silly, and it diminishes him and the sport. A foul is a foul. When you are as big, fast and strong as Lebron; when you are involved in as many physical collisions, it is inevitable that you foul people, at least a few times a game. But not the King. Keep track, going back 11 games into the regular season, when the Lebrons locked up the overall one seed and the MVP for the King, 9 fouls were called. With 6 more in the 5 playoff games, we are up to 15 fouls in his last 17 games. As a service to our readers, we will keep track as often as we can get around to it. I’m begging the officials, stop embarrassing yourselves with your Leb-lust.

One more thing here because I just can’t resist. Lebron is quickly catching up to Tim Duncan with the outraged "are you kidding me, you’re calling a foul on me" face. Yes, King, we know you’re the best and the refs treat you like adolescent girls treat the Jonas brothers. Enjoy it. Don’t embrace and expect it. And don’t make the Duncan face when they make a call on you. You do commit fouls, every NBA player does. Well, almost every NBA player not blessed with official Leb-lust.

Hawks-Cavs:

Is there any way in the world that the Cavs lose this series? I suppose the King could throw his back out slipping on spilt milk at home, but short of that, no. That being said, if the Hawks want to make a series of it, and they do have the talent and athleticism to do so, they can. Assuming they don’t play every other game like complete cow plop as they did against the Heat.
The Hawks have a variety of athletes that can try to slow down Lebron just the tiniest bit. Whether is Joe Johnson or even Josh Smith at times or Marvin Williams. Just stand your ground, give up the jumper and try not to get beat too badly when he goes by.

I wrote this before the Hawks went down 2-0 and turned into a MASH unit, but the rest of this is still 100% applicable, although useless to the artists formerly known as the Atlanta Hawks.

The key to beating the Cavs is to not let the side dishes get you. It’s Thanksgiving, you’re going to gorge on turkey. Don’t fill up on the bread, chips, veggie dips and everything else. Enjoy your turkey and gravy and don’t get side tracked. Ok, it’s a poor analogy. But the mixed greens medley of Mo Williams, Delonte, Szczerbiak, in combination with the foreign specialty Illgauskus/Varejao salad , should not be kicking anyone’s ass. (We will come back to the myth that is the greatness of Mo Williams in a minute). The theme this year has been Lebron’s ascendancy to greatness and the vast improvement of his supporting cast. A cast that is essentially the same as last year’s with one Mo Williams added. Did these guys all get magically better over the summer, or are they about as good as they have always been? You make the call.

Guard your side dishes, let the turkey have his. Don’t double. The Cavs become unstoppable when teams start doubling Lebron. He’s too good a passer. Stay with him. If he scores, 50, 60, even 70, who cares. All the shooting may slow him down, just a hair anyways. You can’t have Illgauskus taking one wide open 15 footer after another. No open threes for Szcerb, Mo, or Delonte. No uncontested dunks for Varejao. Stay with your man. The Cleveland side dishes, not a singe one of them, can consistently create their own shot. Mo Williams, please, we’re coming back to him, don’t you worry. The side dishes have gotten very good and confident knocking down wide open jumpers or dunks. I once made 48 our of 50 foul shots with no one guarding me. These are professionals, why give them the out.

Stay with Lebron. There is this mentality that if one guy is scoring at will, that you need to double him. But when it results in the other 4 guys getting going, it doesn’t help. Not with this team. Stick with Lebron, and keep the side dishes in the fridge. It’s your only chance. Although the Hawks still have no chance, whatsoever.

On to Mo Williams, or as he is known by talking heads and everyone in the state of Ohio, the greatest point guard in the history of the universe. This is a point guard averaging 4.1 assists per game during the regular season and 4.7 in the playoffs. Sure he hits the open 3 and has hit some clutch shots and Lebron picks up the assist slack, but Moe also has never faced true playoff pressure. Mo, talk to me when you can legitimately be in the conversation of top 10 point guards. In no particular order, list of point guards better than Mo the Great:

Williams, Paul, Rondo, Chauncey, Calderon, Nash, Parker, Harris, Rose, Ford, and Miller. Alright, Miller’s a stretch but he was 11, and we’re not even including Duhon and J-Kidd. Mo Williams is the league’s most overrated player today. Mike Bibby will outplay him in this series.

And let's not forget this. The Cavs barely broke a sweat against the Quitters, oops, I mean Pistons and are going for another effortless sweep. These are not your 95-96 Bulls. They are not playoff tested as a group. I'm not saying they can be stopped, but they will be going into the Conference finals without having played a competitive game in more than a month. Think that's not a negative?

THE RAJON RONDO SHOW

How good is Rajon Rondo? Through 9 grueling playoff games, Rondo is averaging 18.3 points, 9.6 rebounds, 11.9 assists and 2.7 steals. Assist to turnover ratio: 4.25:1. This is how you gauge how good a player is. If you could start a team right now who would you start with. Number one, Lebron. Number two, Dwight Howard. After that, Rondo. Kobe, please, too old. You want Chris Paul, you can have him. Rondo consistently outplays him. Derron Williams, same answer. D-Wade, lotta miles and injuries on that frame, but he could be three to Rondo's four, I suppose. Rondo consistently outplays every top point guard. He’s 23. In his third year. And he is carrying a decimated Celtics team in this year’s playoffs. He is the single most electrifying player in the league.

Write this down: Rajon Rondo will average a triple double for a season. He’s not even reached his prime. He will average the triple double and he will win the MVP. Call me a fan boy if you will. But, the points and assists will be easy. He just needs to grab enough rebounds to get over the number. Probably not next year. However, when Rondo reaches his prime, 25-28, a season averaged triple double is coming. The Magic are finished. Rondo refuses to lose. In game two, the Magic were blasted with Paul Pierce scoring 3 points. Watch out.

By the way. Dwight Howard. Every pick Howard sets is an offensive foul, watch the tape. Don’t tell the refs, though, they must be having dreamy thoughts about Lebron.

Here is quote from Stan Van Gundy, who I think has just taken the award for the single dumbest pre-game comment, in reference to Alston’s suspension and complaining that Rondo should have been suspended for the Brad Miller foul in game 5 of the previous series. That’s right, the series that the soon to be out of work former porn star was not even a part of:

"The question everybody has is, 'Why when Brad Miller is going to the hoop, can you just take a swing?' You know, the only ones I think that agree that he didn't wind up and follow through were Stu Jackson and David Stern. I think everybody else, including Boston fans, know he wound up and followed through."

Really, Stan, even the Boston fans thought he should have been suspended? What’s your basis for that. Did your crabs tell you that? SVG, why, why are even bringing this up? How dumb are you? That wasn’t even your series. You’re going to compare a hard foul in live play to stop a basket to your slimy player slapping someone upside the head who is facing away from them. It seems pretty clear that Rondo has already taken "the leap", but what do you think he is going to do to your joke of a back court now? Pure, unadulterated idiocy. Is there any doubt that his quote will be on the blackboard in the Celtics’ locker room before game 3 tonight, any doubt at all?

I think there’s only one solution to this. For every game he coaches for the rest of his life, SVG should have to endure an unanticipated slap upside the head from behind, from one of the opposing team’s fans. He won’t know when it’s coming, but at some point in every game, someone gets to smack Ron Jeremy upside the head. We’ll see how he likes it.

This is about the most irritated and personal that I have gotten, but Stan Van Gundy is a fat load of crap and his team hates his guts. Keep on screaming you loon, you’re screaming your team right out of the playoffs and right out of a job. Well, at least there’s that porn thing to fall back on, assuming he can still find it down there.

Refs in the Tank for Lebron

2009-04-13T12:28:00.000-07:00

Columnists and talking heads alike are trying to stir up some discussion as to who will actually be the NBA's MVP. Nice seasons from D-Wade, Howard and Kobe, among others, but this MVP rightfully belongs to Lebron. But we need to take a step back to look at the numbers and to analyze what happens when the refs turn into the equivalent of screaming Jonas Brothers groupies.

Lebron's season has been building to a crescendo all season. Clearly going to end with the best record and overall 1 seed for home court advantage through out the playoffs, all deserved kudos to Lebron. Is he a little irritating? Yeah. Did he steal his whole baby powder in the air before tip-off thing from Garnett, whose was doing when Lebron was just starting to get pubies? Sure, but he's Lebron: adore, admire and adulate. No thinking involved.

Just look at the way the groupy refs have called the games once we reached the latter stages of March. From March 22, 2009 forward, Lebron has played in 11 games. Lebron, a physical player, is involved in multiple plays per game that could be called either way. Whether it is a fight for a rebound, a collision over a loose ball, or a charge/block toss up, he is in a number of plays that could garner him a foul in each game.

Don't tell the groupies though, they are too busy screaming and peeing themselves like 60's Beatles fans. In these last 11 games, when Lebron has locked up the MVP, home court through out the playoffs and is about to tie for the best home record ever, how many fouls do you think have been called on him? 9. That's right, Mrs. Bueller, 9 times. 9 times has the whistle been blown and Lebron been at fault. Not that it has stopped him from crying about every call against him.

9 times, including a 5 game stretch without a foul. 1.7 fouls per game is what Lebron is averaging this year. This number is beyond comprehension for a massive, physical player, who is active on both boards, as well as frequent driver and blocker of shots. 9 fouls in 11 games. That's less than one per game. How many foul shots do you think Lebron took during this period? 96. No joke. 9 fouls called on him. 96 foul shots taken.

With Lebron clearly being the best player in the league, do we really need to give him this much help? This is not some NBA or ABC conspiracy theory. This is just what happens when short little men with the same cognitive processes seen in New Kids on the Block fans, see their hero. They are too busy squealing to blow the whistle. Unless, they are calling fouls on others fouling Lebron.

11 games, 9 fouls called against him and 96 foul shots taken. This is the most absurd result and will tarnish this year's playoffs irreparably if the refs don't stop pissing themselves with jubilation everytime Lebron hacks, runs over or pushes someone out of the way for a rebound. For comparison's sake, Kobe, averaging an entire foul more per game than Lebron, had 25 fouls called on him in his last 11 games. How bout a few more for comparison:

Fouls per game (season): Fouls last 11 games:

Lebron 1.7 9
Kobe 2.7 25
Pierce 2.7 25
Chris Paul 2.7 36
Dwight Howard 3.4 45
D-Wade 2.25 28

Even Jordan in his prime never had a season like this. 1.7 fouls per game. 9 fouls called since March 22, 2009. That's almost a month!?!

Let's not make this whole thing down right silly. The refs either need to stop shrieking like teenage girls at the sight of Lebron, or he will have one severely tainted NBA title in 2009.

Steelers-Cardinals for all the Marbles

2009-01-31T15:53:00.000-08:00

My favorite phrase of the last two weeks that has been said 8000 times: Ben Roethlisberger, the youngest QB ever to win the Superbowl. Let us not forget the Big Fraud’s performance in the biggest game of his career. 9-21. 123 yards, no touchdown passes and 2 interceptions. Absent a few fishy calls, namely the phantom offensive pass interference on Seattle’s early touchdown and the Big Fraud is a goat of Neil O’Donnell proportions. But he was rescued in large part because one of his receivers happened to be a more accurate thrower than the BF, with Randle El throwing the Steelers’ only touchdown.

This was one of the single worst performances in Superbowl history and certainly the worst ever performance by a winning QB. Absent Gannon’s five interception disaster, the BF would stand alone holding the honor for single worst ever QB performance in the big game. Do people not remember this when they fawn all over BF, Brett Favre style?

Let’s also not forget that league MVP that year, Gannon, was facing his former coach. Much the same way BF is facing his former offensive coordinator. Think there is any other coach anywhere that might know more about the BF than Ken does? Not bloody likely. The Big Fraud continues to be the most overrated QB in NFL history and now the world will watch as he gets his second shot at the big game.

But none of this stops the media love affair with the BF. An under fifty percent dud two weeks ago against the Ravens when two of the three big plays BF made easily could have been interceptions. He does indeed lead a charmed life as he has for the entirety of his NFL career. Consistently backed by a top defense and running game, no one’s thrown less passes than BF in his early years. And he racks up huge Yards Per Pass stats over his career against nine men in the box defenses stacked up to stop the run. While I give BF all the credit for his agility, strength and ability to avoid the pass rush and extend the play, it does not change one simple fact. He is often not very accurate, the most important trait for a QB. An accurate QB would have blown out the Ravens two weeks ago as evidenced by wide open receivers missed time and time again.

Now BF faces a suddenly energized and ball hawking Cardinals defense that get no respect. Never underestimate the value of being the team no one respects or thinks can win. Ask last year’s Giants and Patriots. Ask Kurt Warner about his Superbowl experience against the Patriots. NFL films put together a wonderful half hour on last year’s Superbowl and there is some telling footage of Strahan pumping up his team before kick off. Ranting about facing the QB that cannot ever be hit. The QB no one can stop. Football is an emotional game and the Cardinals have the emotional edge. They will also have every neutral fan cheering for them, while being greatly out-numbered in the number of fans that have traveled, so they will likely be playing on at worst a neutral field. Don’t be surprised to see this crowd leaning the Cardinals way.

Rod Woodson made clear that this is the worst possible match up for the Steelers’ defense. He essentially said that the way you beat a dominant 3-4 defense is to spread them out and attack the seams. Precisely what the Cardinals do best. Add in a QB who reads defenses and makes decision as quickly as anyone ever has, with his quick release, and the Steelers’ defense might not be so dominant. Warner has also greatly improved his ball security, which will be essential. He will have Harrison and Woodley in his face at times, and his ball security will be imperative to a Cardinal victory. Polamalu is not going to be the mad man around the line of scrimmage that he usually is because the Steelers are terrified of Larry Fitzgerald. As they should be. No receiver has ever put together a more dominant three game playoff run.

A dominant receiver in the zone, clicking with his QB, can be unstoppable. Look at Randy Moss last year and in his 15-1 Minnesota season. Jerry Rice for years. T.O. in his prime. It can be nearly impossible to stop a dominant receiver. Don’t think the Steelers can out tough the Cardinals either. The Cardinals are lead by their QB and WR’s who are three of the toughest players in the league. Boldin playing mere weeks after having his face crushed, Warner always getting back up after every huge hit, standing in there til the last second. And Larry Fitzgerald never shies away from the ball, and why should he, he’s bigger than everyone out there trying to take him down.

The Steelers will be able to limit Fitzgerald to an extent, but he will still make some plays. The Steelers will consistently have both Ike Taylor and Polamalu on Fitzgerald, and at times a third defender. Larry will still make some plays because he cannot be stopped, but this is going to be Boldin’s coming out party. No one has a bigger chip on his shoulder coming into this game than Anquan Boldin. In his mind, he is every bit the receiver that Larry is, with none of the accolades. And he has been bashed by just about every talking head, sports writer and blogger from coast to coast. He’s selfish, he’s a cancer, he’s a bad teammate. All Anquan Boldin did in the Eagles game was have an emotional reaction, in an emotional sport, to not being on the field in the biggest game of his life. For shame Anquan Boldin, what an unforgivable crime. There has not been one iota of conversation about Boldin’s skills in comparison to all the chatter about his sideline argument with offensive coordinator, Haley.

Larry’s absurd three game performance mandates extreme measures will be put in place to stop him by the Steelers, which will open it up for Breaston and Boldin. His hammy should be mostly healed up, and if so, Boldin is a top ten receiver and this is his chance to go from the selfish guy who yelled at his coach in the championship game, to hero. I am predicting Anquan Boldin with a monster game and the MVP trophy in a tough call over Warner. 150 yards and 2 TD’s.

The Steelers will get their points and they will eat the clock as the Cardinals bend but don’t break. Ben will take chances on plays when he breaks the pocket and Adrian Wilson will come up with a big interception. Whisenhunt knows the Big Fraud as well as anyone and there will never be a better prepared defense to face him. The key to stopping the BF is to know that you must never drop your coverage, no matter how long it has been. A number of big plays that the BF has made in his career are due to the DB losing sight of the WR by looking back to Ben because they cannot believe the ball has not been thrown yet. You keep your coverage and look for the ball when the receiver does. If this had happened on the Holmes TD last week, it was an interception. But instead, the DB, who could not believe the play was still going on, looked back at Ben and lost his footing just as he was throwing the ball.

The BF is overrated because he is often inaccurate. And that is a killer for his position. You never see Tom Brady or Peyton Manning consistently miss wide open receivers, but you see it from the Fraud all the time. He will miss some passes because that is what he does. He will break containment and extend some plays with his feet. There will be plays where the coverage breaks down because you can only cover for so long, but the Cardinals will be able to limit these. The Steelers are going to score and there is no getting around that. This game comes down to the Cardinals defense making enough plays to slow the Steelers down, and getting the big turnover. Which they will. The BF’s inaccuracy and consistent habit of throwing to covered receivers as he extends the play, all while facing the offensive coordinator who mentored him, will be too much. The BF will prove everything I have ever written about him and he will still be beloved. It will all be an anomaly due to Whisenhunt’s inside knowledge. He ain’t that good, he never was.

The Cardinals can and will win this game because they have a Hall of Fame QB going against the league’s best defense. This has become a league where the offensives are ahead of the defenses because more scoring equals more excitement and more viewers, at least from the NFL’s perspective. The only way the Steelers win this game is if they are allowed to mug Cardinal receivers on every play, the way the Patriots did a few years ago to the Colts on their way to Superbowl number 2, I believe.

Now, I live in New England where Bill Polian is about as revered as Satan and it is blasphemy to say this, but there is no getting around the fact that the year before the refs started actually calling illegal contact, holding and interference, that the Patriots consistently mugged the Colts receivers on play after play in that playoff game. Belichick quickly realized with the new enforcement of the rules that you could construct an unstoppable offense, which he did. And if the Patriots had not been so arrogant in game planning to attack the Giants’ safeties with down the field passes and instead had relied on short passes, they would have won. But, they were arrogant. They did not believe anyone could apply pressure to Brady. And you can’t really blame them, because no one had. What you can blame them for and it has to be a mark against the single best coach ever, is that Belichick took far too long to make the adjustment to the underneath throws. He continued to try to attack the safeties as Brady was tenderized by the Giants’ front four.

The Cardinals will not make the same mistake as they know that Warner will be under pressure and they will be ready to make the quick read and release. This Steelers defense, which is great and is better than last year’s, still has a fundamental flaw. You can exploit them by spreading them out and attacking with quick passes if you have the QB and weapons to do so. The Cardinals have exactly that. Just like the Patriots did last year to the tune of 4 TD passes and 399 passing yards in a 34-13 drubbing of the Steelers. Again, I grant you that this is a better defense, but it can still be exploited with the right pieces. Which it will be.

Cardinals 31-27. MVP Boldin. From the only person anywhere who picked the Cardinals to win each and every playoff week. One more to go and they will not be stopped.

Conference Championship Follow-Up

2009-01-19T12:15:00.001-08:00

Couple quick thoughts following championship Sunday. Apologies to my erroneously calling Jim Johnson Joe Johnson. This is what happens with no editor.

Best sign of all time goes to the Cards fan with the "We are who we thought we were" sign. You can't beat that.

Well, we got one right and one wrong. We’ll take 4-2 (both against the spread and with outright winners) in the last six playoff games. Better than just about every “expert” out there. Ravens were very much in that game and things could have been very different if Polamalu did not get the pick six, doing his Ed Reed imitation. Roethlisberger clearly outplayed Flacco, much to my chagrin. However, the gushing about the Big Fraud remains greatly misplaced. Yes, he is excellent at avoiding the rush and extending the play. Yes, he made three big plays that produced points. Passes of 65, 45 and 30 yards to Holmes, Ward and Miller respectively. However, two of these passes easily could have been intercepted.

The opening drive pass to Ward was into blanketed double coverage and was a hair away from being intercepted by Ed Reed. On the TD to Holmes, the receiver was blanketed and it likely would have been an interception if the defender did not fall down after BF’s wobbly, fluttering pass was thrown. The one to Miller was, admittedly, very nice by BF. However, of his 255 yards, 110 of them came on those two passes that were very nearly interceptions. As for the rest of his performance: under 50% completions and bad throw after bad throw to wide open receivers. BF badly missed on at least 10 throws, and if had not missed open receiver after open receiver, this game would have been a drubbing. With Leftwich at QB, this game would have been a blow out. BF’s inability to hit open receivers kept the Ravens in the game.

It’s all about accuracy when you are a QB. Look at the Eagles-Cardinals games. If Donovan McNabb was not erratic and inaccurate (Tavaris Jackson-style), the Eagles win. When McNabb is good, he’s very good. But when he’s bad, he’s awful. He, like the BF, missed open receiver after open receiver and easily could have turned the game his way with some accuracy. His completion percentage: 59.6%. Warner’s: 75%. Think that wasn’t the difference in the game?

As for Flacco’s uneven performance, you have to give credit where credit is due and the same with blame. Pittsburgh’s defense is unreal. As good as any I have seen. I cannot compare it to the ‘85 Bears since I was 9 years old that season. But I have not seen a better defense and that includes the 2000 Ravens. Defensive line: dominant. Linebackers: terrifying. Secondary: unbelievable. Flacco had time on a number of occasions and everyone was blanketed. However, he gets his share of blame for locking on to receivers and telegraphing passes. Admittedly the Raven’s receivers are sub-par, but that was an absolutely dominant and smothering performance by the Steeler’s secondary. Flacco will be back though and in five years he will be a far superior QB to the BF, because he has a stronger arm and is more accurate.

As I proclaimed prior to this game, Larry Fitzgerald is the NFL’s best receiver and he made sure to prove it. More yards than Jerry Rice in a single post-season, staggering. With his Superbowl performance to come, he will set a mark that may never be broken. I had the displeasure of listening to some Patriot fan loonies claiming that Randy Moss is better this morning. Their position was that the very idea that Fitzgerald was better was ridiculous and absurd. Up here in Patriot land, the fans are a little biased, to say the least. That is a laughable proposition. Larry is head and shoulders the best receiver in the league. His last five games including 3 playoff upsets, 650 yards, 8 TD’s on 31 catches. That’s 21 yards per catch. He was also covered by a top 3 (if not the single best) cornerback in Asante Samuel and he absolutely torched him. Randy Moss largely disappears (particularly in recent years) with double coverage. With Larry, it doesn’t make a difference, just throw it up. Cardinals only let the Eagles back in the game by not throwing to Larry for most of the 2nd half. I don’t care if he’s covered or even if you can’t see him. Just throw it in his general direction and he’s going to go up there and get it. Randy Moss was almost a complete non-factor in the Patriots Superbowl loss. Sub Fitzgerald for Randy and the Patriots would have been 19-0.

Aside from his rookie year and the year he struggled with injuries, every year (and there’s only three since this is his fifth year) he’s gone for over 1400 yards and double digit touchdowns. He has just under 6000 yards and 46 touchdowns in the regular season. That does not include the playoffs and leaves him just 28 shy of breaking into the top 25 all time receiving TD leaders. And he’s in his 5th season. If averages just the 9 touchdowns that he has been for his career so far, for another 5 years, he will be in the top 10. This is an all time great receiver and he is far better than anyone in the league at the moment. He has the best hands and leaping ability of any receiver all time, and he is deadly after the catch. These playoffs have been his coming out party and the Superbowl will be his ultimate stage to shine. Larry Fitzgerald vs. one of the best defenses of all time. If he does it again, no one will ever again be able to credibly question his greatness.

Conference Championship Weekend

2009-01-18T08:44:00.001-08:00

How come the morons that are in charge of the major sports can’t make a decision that makes sense, might be in the interest of people’s safety, or, heaven forbid, might increase viewership? World Series games end well after midnight, with a short game. NBA Finals games start after 9 pm. Obviously, we are talking east coast here, you know, only the place where the vast majority of the country’s population lives. The NHL sold their major tv deal to a channel no one has ever heard of or can find. Can anyone name for me a single "Versus" show? I just googled them and I saw something about bull riding, so obviously, they know what they’re doing.

The NFL manages to avoid these disasters and actually have their marquis games on when people who have jobs or go to school can actually watch them. Note to the three major sports not raking in money NFL style. If you don’t hook em as kids, you’re never gonna get em. However, in one of their more foolish moves, the NFL has completely blown it this Conference Championship weekend, by throwing all reason and logic out the window. Alright, we have two games. One at 3:00 pm and one at 6:30 pm, both times Eastern. One in the warm desert. One in the frigid and snowy northeast. One in the Eastern time zone. One in the Pacific time zone. This means the 3:00 pm kickoff takes place at noon in the Pacific time zone. So, what would make more sense? Have the game in Arizona be the late game or have the late game in Pittsburgh? Have the Steelers fans out in the elements until after 10:00 pm? Or give them the early game and reduce the likelihood of drunken hypothermia? Have the Cardinals playing at noon local time or 3:30 local time?

You, of course, know the answer. The Cardinals have the early game and the Steelers the late game. This would be a moot point if the Giants had won and both games were on the east coast, but that is precisely what the problem here is. The Giants, a shadow of their former selves without as Plax (precisely as predicted here, mind you) got embarrassed and the Cards get the home game. Yes, the CBS and FOX schedules are set in advance, but are you really telling me they can’t make the switch? It is pure and unadulterated foolishness. And with all the more time to get good and liquored up with a 6:30 start at Pittsburgh, are we really going to be surprised by the multiple people sent to the hospital from the Pittsburgh game due to exposure? Shame on you NFL, this was an easy and logical fix. Steelers play at 3:00, west coast game at 6:30. It’s not rocket science.

On to the games.

Ravens +6 over STEELERS

Six points against the Ravens defense and the weather is too much. Especially since the Ravens are going to win outright. Two best defenses in the league. The winner of this game will be the team that avoids the turnovers. Fast Willie will not look so fast against the Ravens warp speed defense. Expect neither team to have much success with the running game. This game comes down to the QB’s. Roethlisberger vs. Flacco. A no brainer right? Not so fast. You have the unflaccable Joe Flacco against the Big Fraud. QB rating this year. Flacco: 80.3. Big Fraud: 80.1. Surprised?

This is territory that we have covered before, but until the truth is known, we will continue to shout it from the hilltop. The Big Fraud is the single most overrated player at the QB position, ever. BF has been insulated by a top 3 offensive line and top rated running game every year of his career, except this one. Well below the league average in pass attempts per game. And what was the result? 8-9 men in the box stacked up to stop the run, play action passes, and big plays downfield. All inflating his quarterback rating, yards per attempt and TD/INT ratio. But, unfortunately for the BF, the honeymoon is over. No more impenetrable O-line, no more unstoppable running game. The BF now faces the same level playing field that the rest of the league’s QB’s do.

The result? 17 TD’s, 15 INT’s and a lower QB rating than his counterpart in today’s game. How bout a closer look at the numbers? Third down passer rating: 73.5. Fourth down: 0.0 That’s 4 passes, no completions and 3 interceptions. Flacco. Third down passer rating: 86.3 Fourth down: 111.7. That’s five attempts and four completions. The higher the stakes, the better Flacco has done. Flacco has the NFL’s strongest arm (athough it is very close between he and Cutler) to cut through the wind and snow. He beat the Titans with 2 huge throws. He’s seen the Steelers twice already this year and should not be surprised by the speed. Be ready to hit the hot route and watch out for Woodley and Harrison.

The unflappable rookie versus the overrated veteran. I’ll take Joe to do it again and the Big Fraud to throw the pick six to Ed Reed. Big Fraud proves everything I have ever written about with him with 2-3 turnovers in this game. Steelers best chance to win this game is if something happens to the BF and Leftwich ends up under center. The train wreck is coming. Wait for it.

Ravens 23-15

CARDINALS +4 over Eagles

Anyone talking about Brian Westbrook being an unstoppable force has not been watching the games. 2 games, 74 yards rushing and one big screen play with all of the Vikings stuck upfield. He looks like what he is. A banged up running back averaging under 2 yards per carry in the playoffs. Throw out that one screen play and he has 96 total yards in the playoffs. How many touches? 42. He’s a non factor against a defense that completely shut down 2 of the 3 best running attacks in the NFL the first two weeks of the playoffs. McNabb has been alright in the playoffs, 2 TD’s 3 INT’s. But he is now facing a ball hawking Cardinals defense who have it all coming together at the right time.

Never underestimate the "everybody thinks we stink" mentality. The Cardinals have been wholly disrespected all season long and being a 4 point home dog is only furthering that perspective. The Eagles and Joe Johnson’s crazy blitzing defense are going up against the wrong guy. Nobody makes quicker decisions than Kurt Warner. And he gets the ball out fast, fast, fast. He’s throwing to the NFL’s best receiver in Larry Fitzgerald and it seems like Boldin will be back on the field. And you could argue Boldin vs. Fitzgerald. Loss of the tight end does concern me here, but you can’t stop Kurt. He’s going back to the Superbowl.

Warner is not the guy to Blitz. Remember how Belichick stopped the greatest show on turf. He blitzed only about 5 times in that game, kept the receivers in front and punished them. Not saying that would work here (receivers are bigger than the defenders), but you don’t blitz Warner when he has these weapons or he will burn you. And Joe Johnson can’t not blitz (excuse the double negative). People underestimate the importance of who you’re throwing to. If Eli had Plax on the field last week, he gets some big plays on those blitzes and we’re having an entirely different discussion.

Cardinals also continue to work in the run nicely. The Eagles have had a long tough road to get here. Don’t underestimate the miles they’ve traveled and the emotional frenzy they got into to face the champs last week. They can’t be as up for the Cards, even in the conference championship game. Everyone has been telling them all week that it will be a cake walk. They already slaughtered this team by 28 points this year. But, these are not those same Cardinals. They are now a run stuffing, ball hawking defense. A balanced and explosive offense with a QB who has won the big game. Expect to see this game end with McNabb vomiting and out of breath in the last few minutes as he tries to run the hurry up. It will be too little too late. And he doesn’t have T.O. to carry his jock as he did in the Superbowl. This time, he’s got the injured running back and the receiver so stupid that he has gone into the end zone to score multiple times in his career without the football.

Cardinals 38-27.

Divisional Playoff Weekend

2009-01-10T07:22:00.000-08:00

Picks (Home team in CAPS)
I’ll kill the suspense and lay it all out on the table from the outset. The four divisional winners this weekend will all be road teams. How can this possibly happen? 3 severely flawed home teams and one lightning in a bottle road team that cannot be stopped.

We’ll start with my favorite to pick and my favorite quarterback to heap on.

Chargers +6 over STEELERS

Chargers are the AFC’s unstoppable team of destiny this year. With Manning out of the way, the 3 remaining AFC teams not from Southern California have utterly mediocre offenses. No big play ability. Also ran QB’s. (All due respect to future star Joe Flacco, but he is not there yet.) Let’s talk about Roethlisberger, aka, the Big Fraud. His first year without a dominant offensive line that protected him like a porcelain doll and forced 8 defenders in the box to fight an unstoppable running game. Their best lineman gone to the Jets, this Steelers O-line is a shell of its former self. The Fraud has a made a career out of down the field plays against run suspecting defenses. This year, for the first time in his career, the Steelers running game is not terrifying anybody. The result, a level playing field. You know, what Manning, Warner, Brady and just about every other QB in the league has had to face every week. Defenses not selling out 100% for the run.

And how did the Big Fraud do. Under 60% completions. 17 TD’s, 15 INT’s and barely an average of 200 yards per game. He ain’t that good, he never was. Chargers defense is rounding into form nicely at the perfect time. In the Fraud’s four regular season losses this year, to the Eagles, Giants, Colts and Titans the Fraud threw 10 interceptions compared to his 3 touchdowns. What does this tell you? None of you should be surprised about what is coming here. The Chargers are road playoff tested and have already played in Pittsburgh in front of the rabid hanky waving yahoos. Not going to phase him one bit. Norv Turner is going to get out of his own way and not send LT out there with his walker. Sproles, or as I like to call him, Speedy Gonzalez, cause he’s not only that fast but just about that big is a unique weapon. Do not underrate how important the "we can’t frickin see the guy" factor is.

Get ready to feel sad again Steelers fans. It’s coming. This will not be easy and it will be close with the Big Fraud wasting as good a defense as we have seen this decade. But by avoiding the big mistake, the Chargers will prevail due to the inevitable Big Fraud brain farts. The Big Fraud will show his true colors. The concussions have dumbed him down to a Brett Favre level. And you know what that means. Big mistakes in big games. And by the way, the Big Fraud led the league in lost fumbles this year.

Chargers 20-13

Ravens +3 over TITANS

The old adage is that defense wins championships and it was never more true than last year with the Giants stunning Brady and Co. But you do not win titles without an offense that can score and big play ability. The Titans have neither. Scraping by in close game after close game all year. Depending on their stupendous defense and excellent running game. The problem here, they’re a poor man’s Ravens. Ravens defense is better and while Ravens will have just as hard a time running, is there anyone out there that thinks the Titans can actually run at all in this game? Ed Reed is the equivalent of a heat seeking missile in finding opposing QB passes over the last 8 or so weeks. The chances Kerry (Strug) Collins doesn’t throw at least one INT to Reed? Somewhere between slim and none and you know where Slim is.

The Titans were +141 points-wise on the season. Throw out the +61 against the Lions and Chiefs and you get a better measure of where this team was all year. Just scraping by, particularly against good teams. They are the single least intimidating 1 seed of all time. A three point favorite means this would be an even line on a neutral field. And we all know how intimidating Nashville in January is.

The Ravens have the better QB, by far, and the better defense. This equals road win number two for the Ravens. Good riddance to Jeff Fisher’s Titans. They’ve been boring for as long as I can remember and I enjoy picking against them almost as much as I do pointing out the real skill level of the Big Fraud.

Ravens 20-6

Cardinals +9.5 over PANTHERS

The premise here is that the NFC South was terribly overrated this year. Buccaneers, meh. Falcons, nice story but a year away. And the big bad Panthers with their intimidating 8-0 home record. What exactly made up that 8-0? Well, obviously the three division wins. A 27-23 toss up to these very same Cardinals. The other 4 you ask? Chicago, KC, Detroit and the end of season Broncos, also known as Quitty McGee. No player has ever gotten more bump out of a single game than Jake Delhomme did out of his Superbowl loss to the Patriots. Jake with his 15 TD’s and 12 INT’s in '08. For his career, below 60% completion and under 86 QB rating. Again, he ain’t that good. He’s never been that good. And since no one ever seems to remember this, when he went crazy in the 2nd half of the Superbowl against the Patriots, the Patriots had lost player after player in the secondary and Delhomme put up his 300+ yards against a bunch of nobodies. This was so troubling to Belichick that he taught WR Troy Brown how to play defense the next year. And he’s been living on that single half ever since.

The running game of the Panthers you say. How can it be stopped by lowly Arizona? Panthers did have the number 3 running offense in the league this year. You know who was number 2, the Falcons, who the Cardinals completely stuffed last week. So don’t buy into the Cardinals can’t stop the run argument. They stopped a better run offense last week with a better QB. And the key to beating the Panthers is just keep Steve Smith double covered. You either just shut him down, or, if you’re lucky, he blows his stack. He has to be one of the most praised head cases in the history of the league. No, he didn’t just punch out a teammate and get suspended by the team this year. He has taken himself mentally out of many and games even gotten himself tossed in a huge Cowboys game last year as he flipped out on an official.

The Cardinals have been pacing themselves. Their division was wrapped up about six weeks in. They mailed in the end of the season and came out rejuvenated against the Falcons. They are reveling in the "everybody thinks we stink" mentality. They have a legitimate, prime time QB. Boldin not going would be a blow, but they have other weapons. Edgerrin is fresh and rested for the playoffs, and most importantly, getting the ball. The team nobody respects will beat the team that nobody ever watches. Unfortunately, this will be the lowest rated Saturday night playoff game ever. But it will still be an exciting upset. The weather at kickoff, 52 with scattered showers. While the Cards have been horrendous going east all year, there’s a difference between coming east in the middle of the grinding and exhausting regular season and going east for one game to go to the Conference championship.

Cardinals 27-24.

Eagles +4 over GIANTS

Both teams have speedy, talented crazy blitzing defenses. Playoff tested and experienced QB’s and coaches. Division rivals who know each other inside and out. Neither will be intimidated. Eagles have already won at the Meadowlands this year. Eagles are peaking like last year’s Giants. The difference that will tip this game to the Eagles can be summed up in one word: Plax. Or the absence thereof.

Giants gave this diva a huge contract and expected him to stop behaving like a selfish ass. And they were so scorned by his refusal to do so and idiotic behavior with weapons that they shut him down for the season. We’re the Giants, the world champs. We have the best running game, Superbowl MVP QB, best defense coordinator. We don’t need him. The problem for the Giants is that this is not last year’s defense. Missing significant pieces of last year’s Brady stymieing defense. Giants blitzes will inevitably lead to Brian Westbrook in a favorable matchup and he will make them pay.

Add Plax into this equation and the Giants win hands down. Plax makes the Giants offense nearly unstoppable. Plax prevented teams from stacking up to stop the run. He’s gone and in his place are 13 year veteran Amani Toomer (getting slower with every step) and the also-rans. It changes the entire way in which the Giants can attack, and are accordingly defended. You blitz Manning with Plax out there and he just tosses it up for grabs and it is a first down or better. You blitz him now with below average receivers and you are looking at another Asante pick six.

Eagles 27-21

Four road winners. You only heard it here.

Wild Card Weekend and a Brief Gander Backwards

2009-01-03T12:21:00.000-08:00

*This is no longer a Blog. It is officially a Blago in honor of the greatest American hero, Rod Blagojevich. He is my hero for one simple reason. He is not going to pretend that this an anomaly, the exception to the rule. His take, we’re politicians. This is what we do and I’m not going to pretend this is anything other than par for the course in the world of politics and government. God love him.

The 2008 NFL season had all kinds of happenings. 3 rookie no name coaches in the playoffs. The single worst coaching job in the history of the NFL. Brady’s knee snapped. Cassel guaranteed himself $50+ million. Brett Favre destroyed his legacy and two football teams. The fiction that was the Patriots good season. Crazy owners fired good coaches and didn’t fire the worst coaches. Joe Buck realized that it’s only an event if he is broadcasting it. Tony Siragusa taught me that blood can actually flow out of my ears with no physical injury. And most importantly of all, we all learned that you cannot call Brian Baldinger, Brian, or Baldinger, but that he can only be referred to as "Baldy". These things are important.

On the short list of things I was right about, we will start with Aaron Rodgers, or as he was known two weeks into this season, the single greatest quarterback ever to lace them up. He goes 2-0 with big numbers against two horrendous pass defenses and the talking heads were gushing like Keith Olberman about anything really far left of center. For the record, after that stellar beginning, Aaron won 3 games the rest of the season against teams not from Detroit. Yet, he is still blameless, it was the defense. Green Bay’s roster is not significantly different from the team that was so close to the Superbowl last year before Brett Favre felt cold and decided it was time to get back in the locker room. In the final 14 games of the season, Aaron managed just 5 games without an interception. Everybody’s fault but his. Yes his numbers are decent, but they are just numbers often racked up in games with deficits and prevent defenses. He’s no more than a poor man’s Matt Schaub.

Brett Favre. What is his actual IQ? I have been wondering this for a while. His mom would have to do the principal Sally Field style just to get him into the regular school. Alright, that’s going a bit far. But what brains are in there appear to have been crushed by his galactic sized ego. Hey, Favreau, your old team, with the fans that adore you. The franchise you helped revive. They didn’t want you because you throw too many brain dead interceptions in big games. They’d rather go with the kid because at least he’s not going to arbitrarily throw three huge picks in a playoff game. The media creation of Favre as an all time great is purely fiction. One Superbowl victory, a 14 point win in a game with two kick returns for TD’s by Desmond Howard. If you look closely at every playoff game he has ever been in, his failure rate is staggering. Look it up. And kiddies, this is a good lesson for all subjects: It ain’t true just cause the media says it is.

Brett Favre eviscerated a very well put together Jets team. Great O-line, defense coming along, excellent RB’s, top notch WR’s. And what does Favre do? He comes in, never learns the play book and throws interceptions like Congress doling out bailouts. His teammates hated his guts. He spent half his time in a private office. Where I imagine him talking to his agent about more Wrangler commercials. It is so perfect that this happened because it has opened the eyes of at least a few as to the fraud that is the legacy of Brett Favre. Sure, he’s a hall of famer, but he should never be discussed among the all time greats. Don’t tell the media though, it might make them sad.

The ego. It’s a riot. He single handedly destroys the Jets, gets the coach fired and has had more bad things said behind his back than any player I can ever recall. And what does he say after the season, he’s gonna take some time to figure out if he’s retiring or not. Brett, you couldn’t pay a team in this league to let you be their QB next year. And the fact that he is in the Pro Bowl with his 81.0 rating and 22 interceptions, while Phillip Rivers with his 105.5 rating and 34/11 TD/INT season is reason enough to overhaul the system. Too bad the fraud has a boo boo on his arm or he could set a Pro Bowl record for INT’s and mutinying teammates.

Kudos to the Dolphins, Falcons and Ravens for thinking outside the box and hiring head coaches who stirred up funeral level excitement from the fan bases. Three no name rookie coaches all in the playoffs. With any luck, this will mean the end of the retreads. Too bad this came too late for Jerry Jones. Jerry, your roster is stacked with talent. Dominant (at times) offensive line, play-makers all over the offense. Superstar Demarcus Ware leading the league in sacks, while his team did the same. Three talented RB’s. And what does this get you, 9-7 and no playoffs. The most humiliating loss in the history of the franchise, 44-6 to the Eagles. Your defensive captain getting into a fracas with a forlorn fan in your parking lot. All leading into the new Texas Stadium next year.

Since Wade Pillsbury Phillips was handed the well oiled and stacked machine that Parcells handed him, he has quickly run it into the ground. After starting out 12-1, Wade is 10-10 with that talent. Far and away led the league in penalties. And by the end of this year were a team that wilted in the face of any blitz. The QB and WR had no idea what to do in the face of a blitz. I have never seen more mishaps on blitzes. I have never heard players calling out their coaches and calling the system flawed. Clearly it was, but I’ve never heard it. This was the single worst coaching job in the history of organized sports. Wade Phillips has murdered the Cowboys and Jerry Jones doesn’t seem to care.

This is a coaching league. More than any other sport, it is about coaching. And Wade Phillips has always been a failure. This year was humiliating. The penalties, turnovers, wrong routes, special teams embarrassments. Let’s not forget that this team out gained the Giants 336-230 in last year’s playoff loss. They had a 120+ yard running back and did not turn the ball over until the game’s final play. Time of possession: Cowboys 36:30, Giants 23:30. People don’t remember this stuff. So, how did they lose, you ask? 11 back breaking penalties for 84 yards compared to the 3 Giant penalties. It’s that simple. And this year, they were more undisciplined, had more penalties. And Jerry doesn’t appear to have any concern. The only hope for the Cowboys is that during Jerry’s next face lift, they figure out that they had a few too many ill placed sutures where his neck connected to his brain. They loosen his neck from his brain and then he wakes up and realizes this team is the best in the NFC with Mike Shanahan as their coach and an instant contender. Jerry, don’t let the Pillsbury dough boy continue to kill this team.
And while we’re on firings. Mangini is out, Shanahan is out and Marvin Lewis and Wade Phillips are gainfully employed. I don’t get it.

And on a completely unrelated and wholly uncouth matter. You’ve been warned. There was a very peculiar image of Romo on the bench all by himself early in the Eagles game. He took a long slow whiff of his finger as he gently brushed the length of it by his nostril and got the strangest half drunk little smirk. Whatever could he be smelling and smirking about. It could only be Jessica. Pull out your tivo, I swear to you it is right there plain as day. Let’s just say I didn’t feel real good about the Boys chances in that game after that disturbing image.

The fiction that was the Patriots great season. Yes they had a lot of injuries. Yes Cassel played great as the season went on. Yes they won 11 games. However, can you please tell me just one quality win that the Pats had? You can’t, because there was not one decent victory out of the 11. Don’t believe me. Let’s have a look see. The Pats split with the Dolphins and Jets, so you could call the Pats drubbing of the Fins in the Miami a quality win, but that’s the only one and it’s borderline at best. The Jets were Favred and that loss, which would have put them in the playoffs, is now just humiliating. Other than that, they beat an Arizona team in a blizzard that had quit before their plane touched down at Logan.

So, against playoffs teams (throwing out the AZ snow quit game) the Pats were 1-4. Split with Miami, waxed 63-20 by Pittsburgh and San Diego, and a loss to the beginning to get going Colts. Not very impressive, by any standards. They did manage to go 8-0 against KC, SF, St. Louis, BUF, SEA, OAK and AZ. Again, it ain’t true just cause they say it is.

The games (home team in CAPS):

CARDINALS +1 over Falcons

Cardinals play good ball at home and Falcons do not have enough fire power for a high scoring affair. That and every one in the world has picked the Falcons. I like the Falcons, Matt Ryan is incredible, but they need another receiver. They are solid. Cards will have fire in their bellies as a home underdog. Matt Ryan is so good as a rookie it is almost incomprehensible. If Boston College didn’t consistently have the least talented wide receivers ever, imagine what he could have done. He did it with no receivers, not one pass catcher that would even sniff an NFL practice squad. He has every throw there is in his arsenal and reads defenses like a grizzled veteran. He has guaranteed his BC coach an NFL job in the future. The future may be now as the Jets are interviewing him. Not this year though, Matt, your ride is over.

Colts (pk) over CHARGERS

I don’t get this line at all. How can the Colts not be favored? Rivers had the best year of any NFL QB, however, the Chargers cannot get into the playoffs without both LT and Gates injured. Every year, they are game time decisions on playoff day. The Colts are on fire, 9 in a row, and Manning is playing as well as he ever has. Chargers cannot stay close with dinged up weapons.

DOLPHINS -3 over Ravens

I thought the predictions on the Falcons game were one sided. I cannot not find anyone in America who has picked the Dolphins. The chance to be that right is just too much to pass up. This game is far from a foregone conclusion. As good as the Ravens defense is (and it is not as good as 2000 nor as good as the Steelers this year) they are still the Ravens. They can and will struggle to score points quite frequently. The Dolphins, oh those tricky Dolphins. Pennington is deadly accurate and not easily fooled. Ronnie Brown, Ricky Williams, Ted Ginn, there are weapons. Is it so out of the realm of possibility that the Fins can put some points on the board, even if they need to get tricky to do so? Fins defense has been anything but consistent, but these are still the Ravens and a rookie QB not half as good Matt Ryan. Flacco is going to be excellent, but Matt Ryan will be an all time great. *

(Here’s what I wrote about Joe way back on October 4, 2008.) * Joe Flacco is unflaccable. I’m coining that phrase. Arm strength, poise. Terribly impressed with this guy who no one ever thought would be starting early on in his career. Out of Delaware. He’s got a cannon, and his head and heart appear to be in the right place. He could be a top 10 QB within 5 years. You heard it here first. And when you have to do it with the Ravens’ receivers who like to be known either as Wingus and Dingus or the Mandrell sisters, that’s all the more impressive.

What Matt Ryan’s doing already is just plain silly.
Dolphins can and will win this game. This was a toss up for me, but with so many integral parts of the Ravens having attended the University of Miami or as I call it, the University of Thuggery, that tipped the scale for me. They refer to it only as "the U" because half their players couldn’t spell or pronounce it in full. All these thugs back in their old stomping grounds. They’ll be lucky if no one ends up killed or in jail. I’m sure they had some fun with their old cronies last night. I feel safe in assuming it was a better than average night for Miami area strippers.

Eagles -3 over VIKINGS

This one will not be close. Vikings and T-Jack will be flummoxed by Phili’s crazy blitzing defense. Eagles are the team hitting on all cylinders at the right time in the NFC. They will be in the Superbowl. The Giants are not the same without Plax. The Panthers are as weak a 2 seed as there has ever been. McNabb and Reid needed to feel so unappreciated that they got into "we’ll show those effers" mode and it’s working.

Conventional Wisdom and the ALCS

2008-10-16T13:50:00.001-07:00

Conventional wisdom is not what it once was. Conventional wisdom said the Rays were in a world of trouble going down 1-0 at home facing Beckett and Lester in games 2 & 3. Conventional wisdom said that Lester was a sure thing in game 3. Conventional wisdom says that Maddon has lost his mind by moving up his only ineffective pitcher to throw tonight in game 5. Kazmir has been the only pitcher the Sox have been able to hit. Sox nation has been rolling around chuckling over this move all day. The back page of the Herald said something to the effect of Maddon is outsmarting himself and giving the Sox a chance.

Here's what I've learned about conventional wisdom in this series. It don't mean diddly. Throw conventional wisdom out the window in this series. Kazmir shuts down the already beaten sox tonight.

And by the way, the Big Popout's post game one comments that the Rays have a different look in their eye after game one, suggesting they weren't ready for this stage, looks like it is going to turn out to be one of the single most moronic and foolish sports statements ever made. This is how much good will Papi's career has brought him. Multiple callers on WEEI calling for his benching for tonight's game. What have you done for me lately, eh?

Husky ball players do not generally do much into their 30's. Mo Vaughn comes to mind.

“Franconomics”

2008-10-12T09:07:00.001-07:00

Terry Francona has won 2 world series in 4 years and is 7 wins away from making it 3 in 5. He is the most successful manager in Red Sox history and if he pulls off 3 in 5, isn’t he a mandatory Hall of Fame candidate? Terry has his supporters and his vocal detractors, locally. But how do you really size this guy up as a manager? What are the guiding principles of “Franconomics”, and how are they working in practice?

Managers never get enough credit for managing the clubhouse and keeping the team on a united path over a very long season. Huge egos, million dollar salaries. Fragile psyches. He is beloved by his players and they play their guts out for him. You cannot give him enough credit for this. Particularly in Boston, this is a HUGE part of his job. And I don’t think anyone can do it better.

There are a couple of principles that lay the foundation of “Franconomics”, but they can really be summed by one phrase. Tammy Wynette said it first and Terry puts it into practice everyday: “Stand by Your Man”. These four words tell you everything you need to know about Terry’s philosophy and what he is going to do in almost any given situation. He’s going to stand by his man. Whether it is sub .200 batting Pedroia in his first professional month or insulating his players as completely as possible from any kind of controversies with the infamous “We’re dealing with this in-house.” He covers their butts no matter what. And he stands by them no matter what.

And it almost always pays off for Terry. Pedroia, Drew, even Millar for Pete’s sake. He sticks by the guys without exception and is almost always rewarded in the end. Does this make Terry brilliant, a great manager? A fortune teller even? Or is he just really, really devoted? Tammy Wynette style devoted. He always sticks by them, always. Put “Franconomics” into practice in a relationship and there would never be a reason to leave Brett Myers. Terry’s team has had one of the highest payrolls and most skillfully run and well funded minor league systems for the entirety of his tenure.

That’s right, he’s got the best players. Or at the very least, very good players. Perhaps Terry almost always pulls a face card when he doubles down on 11 because the deck is stacked in his favor. Maybe standing by his men has been so successful because those men are some of the most gifted and talented in the majors. Maybe because Terry sticks by everyone under any circumstances, he is not as prophetic as we might think.

This carries over into everything he does. Leave the starters in too long? Sure, I believe they can work themselves into form. Go time after time to dreadful relievers and stick with them a few batters too long? Absolutely, they’re going to turn it around. Sacrifice, are you crazy? My guy’s going to get a hit, I believe, I stand by him. He’s not gonna hit into a no out inning killing double play with men on 1^st and 2^nd and nobody out in a tie game in the eighth.

Terry is a very effective manager for the Red Sox and perhaps no one could do a better job. But he could really use a game managing intern. The Red Sox would not have two World Series and be knocking on the door of a third without Terry. Managing the clubhouse alone in Boston is that difficult. But that doesn’t mean he is not making some game blowing gaffes that are not only indefensible, but unfathomable. Unless, of course, you are just standing by your man, in every possible situation. Don’t forget, this is the same man who put Pedro Martinez in relief into game 7 in Yankee Stadium in 2004. The game was a blow out, the crowd were slicing themselves with razor blades A&E special style. There was nothing that could breathe energy into that building.

Oh wait, sure there was. Put in Pedro, in relief. Get the “Who’s your Daddy” chant going, a couple of runs and the stadium is alive again. There was no conceivable reason under the sun to put Pedro in that game, unless you had Tammy Wynette devotion for him. If you not only believed that he could do it, but that he deserved a shot at Stadium redemption. Only devotion could bring about that craziness.

And that finally brings us to last night, game 2, 2008 ALCS. Terry’s star starting pitcher, Josh Beckett, just did not have it. You could see it in the first inning. You could see it in the second inning, the third. You could see it on every pitch he threw. You were watching Josh Beckett on a night when he would get one swing and miss from the Rays on a fastball. One, on 93 pitches. He just didn’t have it. That’s why you have long relievers. Either Wakefield or more likely Byrd were there for you, just for this eventuality.

But Terry kept putting him back out there. Terry didn’t even have someone warming up in the 3^rd when Josh headed into trouble again giving up his 4^th run and 2^nd homerun. Through four innings, the laboring Beckett had given up 5 runs, 3 homeruns and was getting scored on like (fill in your inappropriate metaphor here). He clearly didn’t have it. This wasn’t the best post season pitcher around; this was a guy who has not pitched regularly or well anytime recently. Inning after inning Beckett kept going out to the mound. I yelled to Terry. “He doesn’t have it tonight, Terry, get him out of there!” He didn’t hear me. Why, why, why would he do this?

Because Terry believed that Beckett was going to get it together. Pitched awful against the Angels. Has an injury of some sort. Getting lit up like a Christmas tree by the light hitting Rays. Showed absolutely zero signs of any effectiveness last night, whatsoever. There was no reason in the world to keep sending him out there. Particularly to start the 5^th after the Sox had retaken the lead with 3 solo homeruns in the top of the 5^th. You’ve got the lead; you survived Beckett’s horrendous start. Just put your bullpen out there and hope for the best. Just don’t put Beckett out there to be further pummeled.

But, he did, and here’s why. He stands by his man. Always and without exception. Every single person watching that game last night knew that Beckett did not have it. Every out he got was fortunate. All 13 of them. Again, he threw one fastball that garnered a swing and miss. If that doesn’t tell you that Josh Beckett ain’t Josh Beckett, then I can’t help you. But none of this comes into play with Terry. He just stands by his man, under any and all circumstances. This has nothing to do with logic or facts or even baseball knowledge. This has to do with devotion.

He stood by Josh Beckett until he finished with the following stat line. 4.1 IP, 9H, 8 ER. Who leaves their starter out there into the 5^th when he is getting killed until he has given up 8 runs? Who sends him back out there for the 5^th after getting back a one run lead? Who I ask? Well, I will ask and answer. Someone that manages not based on logic, strategy or reason. Someone who manages based on devotion. Next time you see Terry leaving in some poor sap to get hammered, or has Junior Varsity Varitek swinging away into a double play. Think of two things. One, he can’t help it; this is who he is and what he believes. Two, crank up “Stand By Your Man” on the sound system. It makes it easier to take, it really does. At least you can understand the thought process that got him there. He just hums the refrain when he has a decision to make.

And you can bet dollars to donuts that he was humming that same refrain in his head last night when he put in Old Man Timlin. Timlin has been awful for two years. Horrendous this year, beyond words horrendous. Timlin had not only not pitched since September 28, but here’s how his last month shaped up. 7.2 IP, 13 H, 8 ER. That’s a 9.39 ERA, in case you were wondering. His opponents’ batting average against him this year was .302 with an OBP of .363. Enough evidence for you. Many a Red Sox fan has known it was time to go to bed this year when Old Man Timlin showed up on the mound. Just like last night and good thing too, because it was getting late.

So, when would be a good time to show your devotion to ol’ Timlin. How bout the 11^th inning of an 8-8 LCS game? If that’s not standing by your man, then I don’t know what is? If you’re not going to use Paul Byrd when Beckett is doing his “Firestarter” impression early on, and you’re not going to use him in the 11^th when you are out of pitchers not name Mike Timlin, why is he on the roster?

“Franconomics”. Someone should write a book. Just send me some royalties.

NFL picks, HOME TEAMS in CAPS, 26-28-3 on the year.

Bears -3 over FALCONS

SAINTS -7.5 over Raiders

Panthers +1.5 over BUCS

REDSKINS -12.5 over Rams

JETS -10 over Bengals

Lions +14 over VIKINGS (they have to cover eventually, don’t they?)

Dolphins +3 over TEXANS (it’ll take more than a year to recover from Sage’s insanity)

Ravens +4 over COLTS (the new building is jinxed)

BRONCOS -3 over Jags (the Jags are this year’s “Cop Rock”. Look it up if you missed it. Whenever there is a new Bochco show, they always mention his former shows, NYPD Blue etc. They never mention “Cop Rock”. This bothers me.

Cowboys -5.5 over CARDINALS

Eagles -5.5 over 49ERS

Packers even over SEAHAWKS

Patriots +5.5 over Chargers

BROWNS +9 over Giants It’s now or never Browns, and I’m betting on now.

League Championship Series

2008-10-09T13:39:00.001-07:00

Nothing can prevent the pending circus that will be the Manny vs. the Sox World Series. It is destined to happen. Dodgers in 5. Sox in 5. Devil Sparkles finally get the rude awakening that we’ve all been waiting for all year. Then let the craziness begin.

There’s a Little Too Much Sage in that Recipe

2008-10-08T06:22:00.000-07:00

There are endless reasons to watch to sports religiously. Staggering athletic achievements, great comebacks, unbelievable coaching gaffes or even officials blowing games with insane calls. When it all comes down to it, we watch because you can and will see something amazing that you have never seen happen before, if you watch long enough. I remember not giving up on the Bills down 35-3 in the playoffs to Houston and seeing the greatest comeback in NFL history, a record which likely will never be broken. This week, we had one of these I can’t believe what I just saw moments, one that every Texans fan will never forget as long as he lives.

With 3:52 to go in the 4^th quarter, with the ball and a 10 point lead, Sage Rosenfels completely lost his mind. This wasn’t a mental lapse, or a poor decision, or even a split second blunder, this was a full onset of temporary insanity. If Sage had committed a crime (sorry Texans fans, it does not count as one no matter how much it hurts) he would beat the charge with the insanity defense. There is no other way to describe what happened.

Having just kicked the living crap out of the Colts all day long, their nemesis that they have beaten just once in their history, it all came apart in the moment that Sage Rosenfels lost his mind. They had scored 27 unanswered points at one point and were still safely ahead by 10 with under 4 minutes to go. All you need to do is not give up a defensive touchdown and you are almost assured of winning. The Texans had been beating up Peyton all day. He showed no signs of putting up the two long drives necessary to beat the Texans in the time remaining. It was over, just about. The most significant win in Texans history. A break out game for Sage who surely would have taken Matt Schaub’s job, he’s always played better anyways in his stints. This could have been the game that won Sage a starting job. He could have become a multi-millionaire and a celebrity.

But it all slipped away in the split second that Sage lost his mind. With 3:52 go and the 10 point lead. With the ball on a 3^rd & 10. Sage broke out of the pocket and started running toward the first down marker. For a second it looked like he would make it. And then three defenders began closing in on him like piranhas after Michael Moore falls overboard in the Amazon. Sage could have slid. He even could have dove head first and absorbed some abuse and all would have still been fine. He was never going to make the first down either way. Just go down, the clock continues to trickle down and Peyton gets the ball back with bad field position and under 3 minutes to go. But something else happened.

Sage made a decision that will no doubt haunt him and everyone that loves him for the rest of his life. Can’t you just see him in bar 50 years from now drowning his sorrows in discount beer and lamenting how he blew his one big chance to be a star when he lost his mind? As the three defenders closed in, Sage decided that he was going to try to make the first down. A noble choice, not the brightest given the situation, but certainly not insanity. This is where it all went so wrong for poor Sage.

He decided he was a hybrid of Jim Brown, Bob Beamon and Greg Louganis all at the same time. Jim Brown because he thought he could get by all three defenders. Bob Beamon because he thought he could jump a really long way if he hit the board just right. And Greg Louganis because this was a face forward platform dive if I have ever seen one. Only Sage didn’t smack his face on the platform, although he would have been better off if he had. Sage jumped straight up into the air and once he was airborne he became a human crash test dummy. First one, then the second and finally a third defender all nailed Sage as he now spun helplessly 5 feet in the air. The ball, of course, dropped out and was returned for a touchdown. Sage savagely came crashing to the ground his helmet smacking the ground Louganis on platform style. And he watched helplessly as his career slipped away in the hands of the Colt defender storming down the sideline. “What in the name of holy hell did I just do?” could be the only possibly thought going through his head. He had made it 56+ minutes into a perfect game, a career and season defining victory. Maybe he was just thinking something more along the lines of the carnival music as his scrambled brain tried to reboot.

If this wasn’t bad enough. Sage had not one, but two more turnovers left in him for the conclusion of the game. With the ball back and under 3 minutes now to go, with a 3 point lead, Sage again left the pocket. Give him credit, this time he did not try to half pike over a litany of defenders. He damn sure wasn’t going to try that again. So as he rolled and approached the line of scrimmage, he slowed up. Waiving the ball around like a pageant winner waiving a tissue in a parade to the passing crowd. Sure enough, as he slowed up because he wasn’t going down field again, he was stripped from behind. Colts get the ball. Peyton takes them in for the go ahead score. Sage gets the ball back one more time in desperation time and throws an interception to end all hope for Texans fans, all hope for his dream to be a starter, and any possibility of not being haunted by this moment for a life time.

This was as mind blowing a turn of events as one will ever see. Good quarterbacking is about good decision making as much as anything else. Sage made just about the single worst decision a human being can make on a football field short of shooting a couple guys in the face “The Last Boy Scout” style. It was just really sad. We seemed to be watching the emergence of yet another come out of nowhere back up QB resurrection story. Ah la Brady and Romo. But no, it all came crashing down in that split second. We feel for you Sage. Everybody out there having a beer at the end of a tough day, raise your glass to Sage. He’ll need all the support he can get..

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2008-10-04T11:46:00.000-07:00

Ah, baseball playoffs. Football in full swing. Foliage. All that crap. Forget Christmas, October is the holiday season for me. Especially this October. OJ’s guilty. It only took 13 years, but here we are. Was the OJ verdict one of those moments that we all remember where we were? I certainly do. I was a sophomore at Columbia University in one of the school eateries. When the not guilty on all counts verdict was read, the packed room (maybe 150+ people) erupted into raucous celebration. Screaming, high fives, hugs. I never felt I quite fit in at that school from that moment forward. It was surreal. OJ got away with murder for a variety of reasons, and it has left some of us sickened ever since. Especially as he scoured every bunker, green, fairway and 19^th hole for the real killers.

It seems appropriate to rehash, just briefly how it all went so wrong the first time. First, outgunned prosecution made this case far longer and more complicated than it needed to be to grandstand during their time in the sun. Second, Johnny Cochran, staggeringly brilliant attorney. Staggeringly. Third, jury selection. Prosecution thought it would be a good idea to seat black women. But studies consistently show that black women have utter disdain for the white women that black men left their black wives for. In this case, the victim. Fourth, failing to point out the painfully obvious. The defense theory was that OJ was framed by a few racist members of the LAPD. Hence the bloody glove and other DNA evidence. It was the only way to counter it. All the prosecution had to do to defeat this defense was to point out that the two primary people who would have had to be in cahoots to properly frame OJ had never met before the day of the murder. That’s it, case closed. Oh well, 13 years later and justice has been served. Or, I guess we should wait for sentencing.

I’ll fight my desire to get into the bailout, but I must say that I feel a lot better about our economy as it gives $100,000,000.00 to car race track owners. You know, as long as it was absolutely necessary to save the economy.

On to the Sporty Sports:

Poor TBS. They pay all their money for the entirety of MLB division series and they’re looking at four possible sweeps after getting three sweeps and a 3-1 series last year. No wonder Buck Martinez was lauding Santana after two batters. Two batters? Are you serious? The next five Red Sox reached base and put up four runs. Poor TBS. Has any manager ever so viciously gone after one player as Lou did after Fukudome? He’s a .257 hitter with 10 homeruns on the season. It’s not his fault you gave him all the money in the world. He’s 0-8. It’s not like he committed four infield errors. Ouch for those poor Cubbies’ fans though. Just one thought on you guys, do you really think it’s helping to turn on your team so fast? I felt like I was watching an Eagles’ home game at old Veterans’ Field after a couple of early picks by Donovan. If your players are just a tiny little bit extra nervous because you are going to rain boo’s down on them in the 3^rd inning, aren’t you at least a small part of the problem? It’s irrelevant though. Nothing can stop the inevitable destiny of Manny versus the Sox for the series. Not only will it be great theatre, but could there be a series Yankees fans would less want to see? Their nemesis versus their greatest manager.

Oh those cocky Angels. They didn’t say it, but you could just feel in the air. 8-1 against the Sox during the regular season, it was going to be a romp. Oops. Chone, Hunter, Vlad, Teixeira, K-Rod. This was their year. From what I have learned from the announcers in this series, the entire concept of Angels aggressive baseball means going from 1^st to 3^rd. So, Vlad the Impaler did nothing wrong when he shot the Angels in the foot with his absurd base running blunder in game one.

Week 5 it is, how fast it all flies by. Home teams in CAPS:

TEXANS +3 over Colts

We’ve seen this Colts team before with a beat up defense missing Bob Sanders. They can’t stop anyone from running. Nevermind, unheard of super fantasy sleeper Steve Slaton. Texans finally start their season at home with a win. This team is not done yet. Just gotta win at home and go .500 on the road. They haven’t been home yet, so this is their chance.

RAVENS +3 over Titans

I have picked against the Titans every week so far and been wrong every week. Gotta switch it up here, you would think. I just can’t. Little offense versus no offense. No offense versus little offense, I can’t figure out which is which. I just can’t believe in Kerry Collins. When he came into the league, OJ was getting acquitted. That has finally turned around this week and so will Kerry’s luck. I don’t believe in QB’s whose career TD’s match or barely exceed their career INT’s: 176-173. INT’s will exceed TD’s by end of year. Albert “the headhunter” Haynesworth bad karma will catch up at some point.

Joe Flacco is unflaccable. I’m coining that phrase. Arm strength, poise. Terribly impressed with this guy who no one ever thought would be starting early on in his career. Out of Delaware. He’s got a cannon, and his head and heart appear to be in the right place. He could be a top 10 QB within 5 years. You heard it here first. And when you have to do it with the Ravens’ receivers who like to be known either as Wingus and Dingus or the Mandrell sisters, that’s all the more impressive.

DOLPHINS -6.5 over Chargers

Why is it so hard to travel 3000 miles in the NFL and not play like crap? I don’t know. Maybe even with charters and private planes it's still really really uncomfortable to be cooped up on a plane for 5 hours when you are 6' 7" and 350 pounds. I can't find any legroom and I'm 5' 10". I think the Dolphins have something here. Great left tackle. Ronnie Brown is back to being Ronnie Brown. And the power of positive thinking. When was the last time you saw someone in Dolphins’ gear smile? No really, when? Coach, player, fan, anyone? The smiles are back. And Norv is ready to post his resume on the “ladders”. He’s a $100K earner right?

PANTHERS -9.5 over Chiefs

Herm Edwards cannot win two weeks in a row. It just can’t happen. His team stinks, his coaching is worse and Coors Light is clamoring for him to get fired. It’s coming.

Redskins +6 over EAGLES

I’m sorry Jim Zorn, I was apparently wrong. Skins are for real. Santana Moss is resurrected. Campbell can play. The defense is defending. Eagles are too beat up. The four best teams in the NFL are all in the NFC East. Name a team better than the Eagles, Cowboys, Giants or Redskins. You can't. Bills and Titans are off to great starts but would either be anything less than 3-5 point underdog on a neutral field against any of those four teams. When has that ever happened? Are these teams going to beat the snot out of each other to the point that it negatively impacts the playoff performance?

Bears -3.5 LIONS

Matt “many blessings” Millen is gone and the Lions are only a 3.5 point dog at home. I know they will be giddy and flying around at 100 mph, but these are same dolts that Millen picked that can’t get out of their way. Bears gave one away last week and take out their frustration on the hapless Lions.

Falcons +7 over PACKERS

Can someone please tell Aaron Rodgers that he is never going to be able to break Jon Favreau’s record of 9023 straight starts. If you’re hurt, sit down. He will never succeed if he continues to see Brett Favre in his rear view mirror. If he plays this week when his shoulder is not ready, which by all accounts it is not, he has Brett in his head, and Brett causes enough trouble in his own head.

GIANTS -7.5 over Seahawks

Another east coast trip for the Seattle MASH unit. That just don’t seem fair. Matt would be safer espousing conservative perspectives on the View. You can’t pick against any NFC East team right now, unless they are playing each other and you have to.

BRONCOS -3 over Bucs

Offensive guru Mike Shanahan has dreamed of this team for years. Weapons galore on offense. No defense. Broncos get back on track here. I think he secretly enjoys it.

Patriots -3 over 49ERS

Pats have not lost two in a row since 2002. And after that second loss, they ripped up the muddy pit that was in the middle of Gillette and replaced it with field turf. This team is still talented and the 49ers are still, well, not. Pats have to win one of these west coast games as they set up shop on the left coast for 10 days. And this one is all the more likely. There is a long list of people that hate Bill Belichick. Does anyone hate him more than Mike Martz? Billy drank his milk shake real good. Martz will throw the kitchen sink, but I think the Pats defense will prevail.

Bills -1 over CARDINALS

COWBOYS -16.5 over Bengals

Are Carson and the Bengals smart enough to leave him on the bench for this one? I don’t think so, but it won’t make any difference. Did Jason Garrett lose his mind last week? What the heck happened. I think this is a big negative for Princeton. Just recently kicked out of the top spot by Harvard in the US News and World Report rankings and now this. Jason Garrett, with his massive offensive line, stud running back Marion the Barbarian, super slick speedy back up Felix Jones, called 10 running plays last week. And 2 of them were to TO. He gave the ball to Marion Barber 8 times last week. His offensive line has been mauling people. I expect this kind of brain fart from the Cowboys coaches during the playoffs, not here. The Cowboys defense also played like a sieve, but this was amazing to watch.

How good are the Cowboys though? The onside kick goes through Sam Hurd's hands or the Cowboys likely march down and kick a winning field goal. This week they could leave Marion and Felix in the locker room, play with ten men, while Phillips and Garrett engage in a game of Battleship, and still win by 20. Sorry Bengals. Odds on Marvin Lewis surviving the season?

JAGUARS -4 over Steelers

SAINTS -3.5 over Vikings

This is our Monday night game. Can you say low ratings? Is this just me? AP is a joy to watch and the Saints generally throw it all over. I don't know, this game just don't do it for me. Might AP turn into the next Barry Sanders? No, not in that way. I mean stuck on a go-nowhere team for the entirety of his career. I never get these teams that think they can win with a steaming pile of dog crap under center. Of the last 16 Superbowl champs, 12 of them were Quarterbacked by Brady, Peyton, Favre, Elway, Young and Aikman. The others, Eli and Roethlisberger also quite good. And the two that buck the trend were Brad Johnson and Trent Dilfer. Dilfer had a historically great defense and Brad Johnson also had a great defense, and the advantage of a head coach who knew his opponents better than their own coach. The point is that great QB's win superbowls. Very good QB's can also. And piles of dog crap QB's do not. There will not be another dog pile QB to win a superbowl now that the rules favor the offense so blatantly. So if your QB stinks, start looking for someone. Or, do it the Minnesota way:

What are the yahoos in Minnesota thinking. "Well, we've got a great O-line, superstar running back, good run D. We could be a serious contender. What about QB? Eh, just go with Tavaris, sure he can't throw the ball in the ocean from a boat. If we get in trouble we have Gus "I am most famous for concussing myself" Frerotte. QB's are overrated, we'll just fudge it at that position." I really don't get it. By the way, during the brief stints when Frerotte was a starter, here's the list of QB's that took his job, Trent Green, Charlie Batch, Brian Griese, and Daunte Culpepper (the Miami one, not the one who could play). Can we just go ahead and add John David Booty to that list now, or should we wait? That list doesn't bode so well for JDB. I hope Tavaris has a silver tongue because he will be selling insurance for a living very shortly.

Week 4 Picks: The Sky is Falling

2008-09-28T09:15:00.000-07:00

31 wins out 115 games played. You know it, you lived it, you loved it (except in Detroit), ladies and gentleman the Matt Millen era. "We're fine. In the world's view, this may look like failure. It's been a hard road, footballwise, but we've gotten a lot of eternal blessings. We'll move forward. I told him, 'You're out of football prison now' and we have a greater purpose."

These immortal words from Mrs. Matt Millen. I am guessing the lots of eternal blessings she mentions must be the countless millions of dollars Matt Millen took from the Ford company. Remember, he signed for $5 million per year at the beginning and had an extension a few years back. Somewhere between $35 million and $50 million is what we can safely assume he earned. He could at least donate a few million or so to provide free mental health care for tortured Lions fans. Well, it's at least nice to see that Ford bring the same insight to running their football team as they do to their business. It's remarkable how closely Ford's decline has mirrored the Lions performance during the Millen era. Maybe these guys shouldn't be in charge of anything more complicated than a lemonade stand.

Hectic week and family obligations have boxed me in to writing this week's edition last minute. Which is unfortunate because there is so much to cover. Devil Rays division winners. They will always be the Devil Rays to me. I don't get the whole "Rays" thing. Is it still a sting ray? Or is it a ray of light? Their jerseys have a funky little sparkly thing. Who knows. Well, you know what they say, you can keep Ray away from the Devil, but you can't take the Devil out of the Rays. They do say that, really. In one of the more pathetic "we've never been here and don't know what the heck we're doing" moments, the Devil Rays pleaded for national assistance to come up with someone to throw out the first pitch. I can come up with five off the top of my head. Fred McGriff, Wade Boggs, the guy from the Dennis Quaid movie, Jon Gruden, Dexter Jackson, some guy from the Lightning Stanley Cup winning team. How bout gold medal star Dwayne Wade. Miami's close enough. What NBA team do we think Tampa Bay cheers for? Fine, go with Dwight Howard. I like Wade though. D-Wade. D-Rays. It works. D-Rays are out in 3 or 4 games. If you can't pick a first pitch thrower-outter, and you need to nationally cry about it, you don't belong there and you will prove so in the playoffs.

Manny is an NL MVP candidate with 53 games played. Not saying he's going to win, but he'll be in the top five in voting. Manny is far from blameless, but with his talent and production in LA, doesn't there have to be some tiny little part of the blame pie put on Terry and Theo? Not half, not even a third. But some tiny little slice? With three front line pitchers and Manny mashing, wouldn't the Sox have finished ahead of the Devil Rays and avoided the Angels in the first round? Wouldn't they be a sure fire World Series favorite, and not an underdog to the Angels who went 8-1 against them this year? Maybe nothing would have worked. But what they did, certainly didn't. Manny threw a fit practically every year around the all-star break. You just shake your head, laugh it off and know that Manny will forget it happened within a week and go back to mashing the ball. It happened time and time again. All I'm saying is this ownership group has been trying to get rid of Manny ever since they took over this team. They tried repeatedly. How can this fact not be part of the equation? You didn't want him, you never wanted him, he didn't fit in your neat little box of what a star player should be. It's a hell of a long shot, but if Manny's Dodgers beat the Sox in the Series, don't we have to point a finger at ownership/management for not being able to find a way to co-exist with Manny? Isn't it their job to "make it work" Tim Gunn style. I had originally written Peter Gunn, but my wife corrected me.

Just picks this week after last week's 6-9. Home teams in CAPS.

Broncos -9.5 over CHIEFS

Browns +3.5 over BENGALS

Texans +7 over JAGUARS

JETS -1 over Cardinals

SAINTS -5 over 49ers

Falcons +6.5 over PANTHERS

Vikings +3 over TITANS (this week's anti logic pick)

Packers -1 over BUCS

Bills -8 over RAMS

RAIDERS -7.5 over Chargers (see Vikings pick)

COWBOYS -11 over Redskins (too good too early, the Wade Phillips era)

Egales -3 over BEARS

Ravens +5.5 over STEELERS

13-16-1 on the season.

Week 3 Picks:

2008-09-20T10:17:00.000-07:00

(Home teams in CAPS)

FALCONS -5.5 over Chiefs

Herm Edwards. He’s still drawing a paycheck after getting smoked by the Raiders at home. His star running back is starting to whine to try to get out of town. He’s a 5 ½ point underdog to the Falcons. I didn’t think the Falcons would be favored all year against anyone, and here they are a 5 ½ point favorite. The Chiefs have all the makings of a team quitting on their coach. Although with their talent level, it will be hard to tell the difference. Until he beats a spread in which Tom Brady’s knee does not get julienned, I’m picking against him every week. Here’s another exciting match up that Fox must be just down right giddy to have.

Raiders +9 ½ over BILLS

This game has all the makings of a romp by the Bills. Second straight long trip by the Raiders. Coach’s status up in the air. Raiders got a road win last week. Bills have started off 2-0 against two good opponents. The Bills definitely do seem to be on their way up, but they did catch the Seahawks with no receivers and a beat up QB while the Jaguars had the five stooges manning the offensive line. No doubt this is a good team. No doubt they win this game at home. Seems like a no brainer Bills win this by two TD’s. This is why it’s so hard to pick against the spread and why the house always wins. Every rational bone in my body says Bills by 3 TD’s. Beating the spread is simple. You just gotta know which games to throw all logic and reason out the window. This is one of those games. Raiders get under the number with a late score.

Texans +5 over TITANS

Can I just pick against the Titans here because they have the league’s most boring team ever since Steve McNair turned into a geriatric overnight? Fiery coach, solid defense, good running game. I think I just find it hard to cheer for a team who had one of their defensive leaders do his try out for “Dancing with the Stars” on Andre Gurode’s unhelmeted (it’s a word, look it up, really) head. I know this was a few years back but it was one of the most stunning acts ever perpetrated on a football field. It has been reported that Albert Haynesworth ripped off Gurode’s helmet and then tried to stomp on his head with his spikes. He missed the first time. But the second stomp was the charm, just missing Gurode’s eye and potentially ending his career, leading to 30 stitches. Haynesworth received the NFL’s longest suspension for an on field incident, 5 games.

Two years have passed, let it go, you say? If this was a “name” player, would we ever have heard the end of this? Strahan? Seymour? The “Headhunter”, as he shall be known from here on out, greatly benefitted from playing in a small market on a team that very few out of towners follow. Texans use the extra energy they did not expend in last week’s hurricane bye to pull the upset.

Bengals +13.5 over GIANTS

How did the Giants manage such an easy schedule to start the season? They open with the Redskins and Jim Zorn with 3/5 of his offense installed. Then they travel to St. Louis to take on the Rams who are so awful everyone involved is chirping. And now they get the Bungles at home. Wow, what a nice way to ease into the season. Division rivals Cowboys and Eagles have not only played each other, but play Green Bay and Pittsburgh this weekend. After what they did last year, it has to be difficult for the Giants to get up week after week to play the sister’s of the poor. This game has letdown written all over it. Bengals are playing for their season, their pride and dignity. They finally put some points on the board this week.

Cardinals +3 over REDSKINS

Back in the old days, the Cardinals were in the NFC East with the Cowboys, Redskins, Giants and Eagles. Now, their division rivals are St. Louis, San Fran and Seattle. It’s like the NL West. The Cards are a quiet 2-0 after beating San Fran and Miami. No one respects them. No one fears them. This is their chance to get respect against a supposedly worthy opponent. Cards are ranked 7th in overall defense. A result of their opponents or their quality? Probably a bit of both. Zorny’s crew has had no offensive production against a pass defense ranked higher than 30. Cardinals seize the opportunity for respect here and finally win a big road game.

PATRIOTS -12.5 over Dolphins

Miami’s defense was disemboweled before a regional television audience of thousands by the Cardinals one week ago. Bill knows that he is going to have to take the shackles off Cassel at some point if his team are going to be able to win big games. I’m not saying the Pats are going to need to score 52 points to win later in the season. But there will come a time when they give up some points and Cassel will need to respond with second half scores. Bill’s got to find out what he has in Cassel. This is the perfect opportunity against Miami’s junior varsity entry this year. Randy Moss fantasy owners will have their coming out party.

We’re going to have to do the abridged version for the rest. Damn editors and their deadlines.

BEARS -3 over Bucs

Rams +9.5 over SEAHAWKS

49ERS -4 over Lions Does Matt Millen have to drive around town in a bullet proof Pope-mobile?

BRONCOS -5.5 over Saints Broncos are for real.

EAGLES -3.5 over Steelers

The battle for Pennsylvania has PA as more than just an presidential election battleground state. It’s great to see McNabb healthy again, but he needs to take it easy. Just go on out of bounds or do the ol’ hook slide. You don’t need to try to batter people for extra yards, Marion Barber style. With Brady gone, the Colts in neutral, and the Chargers going backwards, this may be the NFC’s year. This is an excellent early measuring stick. AFC or NFC? Both teams clearly in the discussion for top of their respective conferences. Winner of this battle will give their conference the early lead in the clubhouse for supremacy. Ben’s not 100%. The Eagles are percolating espresso style on offense. And the defense doesn’t have to face T.O., Witten and Barber. Steelers do not have the offensive weapons the Cowboys do. Steelers will not be able to slow McNabb down enough. Pendulum swings the NFC’s way for first time in quite a while.

COLTS -5 over Jaguars

Browns +2.5 over RAVENS

Browns are in critical condition and the life support is failing. Derek Anderson has 18 TD passes in his last 16 games. Did that one 6 TD game against the Bengals inflate his value? Is D.A. the real deal or a flash in the pan? Browns were out of sync in week one against the high flying Cowboys after preseason injuries and had to play during the filming of Winnie the Pooh’s “it’s a blustery day” in week 2. Browns will find some points this week or Brady Quinn will be starting real soon.

Cowboys -3 over PACKERS

Cowboys caught a huge break, literally, with Roy Williams breaking his elbow. This will sure up the pass defense. And we finally get to see the anointed one, the new golden boy, Aaron Rodgers against a grown up pass defense. No historically horrendous Lions’ or Vikes’ pass defense here. I see a big DeMarcus Ware blind side sack leading to a fumble and touchdown, while Tony Kornheiser mutters “Brett Favre” over and over again in the corner of a dingy hotel room.

Jets +9 overs CHARGERS

Tomlinson is starting to be one of those guys who is nicked up all the time. It’s hard to get healthy moving forward when your job is being a human target. This is an interesting game for the Jets. All of New York think Magini is way too conservative with his play calling. The Jets have talent and that talent needs time to gel. Cotchery and Coles are two talented wide outs. Thomas Jones in an above average running back and the O-line has some nice pieces that will need time to gel. D’Brickashaw’s public humiliation at the hands of Richard Seymour provides another interesting back story here. Does he recover? Will he learn from this? Or was his spirit broken? I think Mangini picks up the pieces and the Jets put it all together this week. SHOCKER OF THE WEEK. Jets pull the upset and Norv Turner puts his resume back up on Monster.com.

Record on the season: 7-7-1 (week one not picked)

Congratulations Minnesota Vikings Fans

2008-09-17T13:38:00.000-07:00

Tavaris Jackson's reign of terror has finally ended. Brad Childress finally decided to stop banging his head (and the heads of all Viking fans) against the proverbial brick wall, and make a rational decision by benching one of the worst starting QB's the league has ever seen. Since we won't have T-Jack to kick around anymore, let's all take a moment to lament what we will be missing. 16 NFL starts for T-Jack resulted in the following:

12 Touchdown passes

17 Interceptions

57.1% completion percentage

6.21 yards per attempt

68.5 QB rating

In his 16 starts, T-Jack threw for more than 200 yards exactly three times, and never once for 250 yards. He managed these staggering achievements with an excellent offensive line and the NFL's best running back. Sorry Tomlinson, but you've been supplanted until you get back to your old ways.

Now I've lost my favorite NFL starting QB to rip to shreds. Is this going to make T-Jack a special kind of sad? What I like to call "Vince Young sad". I would bet that T-Jack had a little chat with his mommy after the whole Vince Young debacle, gently suggesting she pull a Sammy Sosa should the media ever come knocking on her door.

How infuriating must it be to be Daunte Culpepper? Joe Flacco, Brodie Croyle, Matt Cassel, Matt Schaub, JaMarcus Russell, and Tyler Thigpen will all have made starts by this weekend’s action. And Culpepper can't get in for a tryout anywhere. I feel for you buddy. It just ain't right. Perhaps you should hire an agent. Perhaps someone who is not you would have better luck marketing your services.

Odds that Gus Frerotte celebrated his ascension to starting QB by head butting something solid:15-1.

We won't have Tavaris Jackson to kick around anymore and I for one am really going to miss him. A toast to T-Jack, we hardly knew ya, kid.

2008-09-16T15:23:00.000-07:00

Week 2 Recap, apologies and adulation:

The fun of putting your two cents out there is being ready to chow down on some chicken fried crow steak on Tuesdays. After a 7-7-1 week, (we’ll always take anything at or above .500) let’s start with our list of apologies. I believe the alcoholics would call this step 9.

1. Richard Seymour:

If only anyone read my blog, I could take credit for firing up Richard Seymour who was the difference in the Pats-Jets game. Unfortunately, no one does, so I cannot. This was the old Richard Seymour, the game changer, the difference maker, the best player on the field. Getting into the backfield whenever he wanted, disrupting almost every single significant play. Single handedly breaking the hearts of Thomas Jones’ fantasy owners nationwide. If you can’t get in from the 3 yard line on 3 straight carries, you might as well go home. Good thing the Jets were already there.

D’Brickashaw Ferguson must still be curled up in a corner quivering and sucking his thumb. This is supposed to be the Jets’ stud left tackle. Perhaps a little more seasoning next to Mr. Faneca and the “Brick” will not have his jock handed to him in such a public and humiliating manner. Where oh where is the relevant analysis from CBS? I do not believe they mentioned Brick’s name once while Richard Seymour drank his milkshake Daniel Day-Lewis style time and time again. I think Paul Dano would have blocked better. Richard Seymour dominated and man-handled the Brick so thoroughly, it made me wonder if Belichick had been throwing around the phrase “horse’sh@#” in describing him, as he had in years past firing his team up to dominate the Bills.

Where has this Richard Seymour been? I haven’t seen him, have you? I think he’s got a little Usain Bolt in him. Just fast enough, or in this case, hard enough to win, no more. Gonna leave everything in the tank that I can, just in case I need it later. Not a bad strategy.

Patriots - 1. Doubter nation - 0.

2. Jim Zorn:

Sorry Zorny. Great bounce back from week one, maybe this offense isn’t doomed. You know what, I can’t do it. I rescind my retraction (maybe I should run for office). I’m not sold on Zorny until I see more. Show me some offense against someone who are not the Saints. 30th in pass defense last year and 28th so far this year. I would say this ain’t your father’s Saints’ pass defense, but that really doesn’t work in this situation.

Quick Hits:

-If the Raiders are awful, what does that make the Chiefs? Does Herm Edwards feel just a little bit guilty cashing his check each week? You weren’t even in the game against a team that threw for 55 yards passing. Against a team whose head coach isn’t speaking to either his owner or defense coordinator. Who’s gonna get that first win out of the three Missouri teams (don’t forget Detroit has been accepted as part of Missouri for this football season only)? I was going to look at their schedules but it was just too painful.

-The Cowboys are off and running, starting 2-0 against the Browns and Eagles. So what if they didn’t bring their defense to Dallas for the Monday Nighter. So what if their coach “didn’t see it that way” when asked at half time about the Eagles moving up and down the field. So what if their coach celebrates 1st quarter touchdowns like a contestant winning a beauty pageant on speed. So what if they have 21 penalties for 190 yards in the first two games. Could someone please explain to the Cowboys that the face mask rule is still in effect and now it is always going to be a 15 yarder.

The most talented team in the league is the most undisciplined. And if the coaches don’t care, or don’t see it as a problem, why is there any expectation that the problem will be fixed? Think it doesn’t matter? Really? In last year’s 21-17 playoff loss to the Giants, the Cowboys out-gained the Giants 336 to 230. Penalties: Giants: 3. Cowboys: 11. This was a tight game and the difference was penalties. Not Romo or Jessica or Cabo, but penalties. Penalties is the most direct result of coaching and discipline. The penalties are a virus and they will eventually become fatal if not rectified. But if the coach isn’t concerned...

-With Roy Williams out for a few weeks the Cowboys will have their best defensive passing games of the year. Roy Williams will not start another game in his NFL career. You heard it here first. It’s over. I think Roy thought if he changed his number, we wouldn’t remember him getting lit up like Times Square time and time again last year on every deep pass.

-Has anyone benefitted more from the scheduling of two cupcakes at the start of their season, than Aaron Rodgers? With all due respect to the Vikings not named Tavaris, the Vikings have one of the worst pass defenses over the past few years. The Lions, well, they’re the Lions. Possibly the most untalented front seven of this decade. For those of you keeping track, last year’s pass defense rankings: Vikings: dead last. Lions: second to dead last. Rodgers may very well be the real deal, I’m just not ready to anoint him until we see some production against a team with a defense that does not qualify as just plain offensive.

This week’s Stupid Hall of Fame Nominees.

-DeSean Jackson. First ever guy in NFL history to throw the ball away before scoring. You could give a pass if he didn’t have a history of doing this. Is DeSean Jackson the most impatient man in the world? Has he been treated for ADHD? Did he play too many video games as a child? Just wait that sliver of a second and then celebrate Ocho Cinco style. I dread the waitress serving DeSean if his ticket gets lost by the kitchen, watch out.

-Shawne Merriman. What conceivable reason could there be for Shawne to disregard the advice of the hundreds of years of expertise and experience of the doctors telling him his knee needed surgery. You stupid doctors, you don’t know what you’re talking about, I’ll just play through it. One game later, surgery, out for the year. Couldn’t see that one coming. I believe the degree he didn’t earn from Maryland was a medical degree.

-Ed Hochuli. Did all the steroids we always suspected him of doing when he was pumped up like Arnold rot his brain? Why would he blow the whistle and call a fumble an incompletion? Why has it taken until now for the NFL to consider looking at the inadvertent whistle rule? If this was the NBA, someone would scream conspiracy. Ed’s been an excellent ref for a long time, but this was a cataclysmic, possible season altering brain fart. Tell the Chargers’ fans that he’s one of the best refs and it was a lone mistake if they miss the playoffs by one game in Bradyless AFC. Stupid isn't really the word for this, but I had no other section. Sorry, Ed.

Week 2 Pics

2008-09-12T11:44:00.000-07:00

(Home teams in Caps)

packers -3 over LIONS

Strong desire to pick against Rodgers who is getting way too much praise for throwing under 180 yards and one TD against a historically bad pass defense. Packers easily could have lost that game if Tavaris "pending disaster" Jackson had one more drive in him. But the Lions are a special breed of bad. After getting slaughtered by the Falcons, no really, the Falcons, they're taking bad to a whole new level. They're "Millen" bad. 31-82. Lions under Matt Millen. Apparently only an 0-16 will end his tenure. Let's all hope for that for Lions' fans sake. I also want to petition the NFL to move the Lions to somewhere in Missouri, because that's apparently where incompetent ownership, horrific coaching and depressed fans live. That's the "Show Me" state spirit. That's it, it's official, Detroit is in Missouri as far as I am concerned for the rest of the season. Missouri win over/under between the three teams is now up to 10. I'm still betting the under.

raiders +3.5 over CHIEFS

Two horrendous teams battle for inferiority. Can't you just see Lane and Herm throwing back a couple at some dive bar after a 6-6 tie. "I'm rethinking the whole 'play to win the game thing'. This tie thing feels pretty good. Now, we play not to lose the game. With my coaching that's the best we can hope for anways. Hey, where'd Lane go?" Poor Lane, thrown out of a KC bar because they didn't accept his out of state ID as legitimate. Patriots trade a 4th rounder for Randy Moss. Chiefs trade a 4th round pick for Herm. Maybe they can trade for Matt Millen next year.

RAMS +8 over giants

Rams may be just awful, awful, awful, but they're getting 8 points at home. Giants have got to be flat for this one after waiting for their coronation for 7 months. Giants still have a lot to prove. They remind me of the Pats after first Superbowl when the eviscerated the Steelers in the opener, despite being underdogs. Only difference, 02 Patriots were vastly superior to their 01 counterparts. 07 Giants would be a 6 point favorite on a neutral field over the 08 Giants incarnation. Late TD beats the number for the Rams. Stephen Jackson needs some fantasy points or he's going to trade himself in fantasy leagues. He'll get em late when it's over.

colts -2 over VIKINGS

I don't care how bad the Colts looked in their season and new barn opener. The Vikings pass defense is historically bad. And the Colts are sure to improve their offensive rhythm with time. Tavaris Jackson is the Matt Millen (the executive anyway) of QB's, his track record is just not as long. This pass defense is horrendous and it has been for sometime, look it up. 10/30/06. Brady scorches Vikes for 372 yards and 4 TD's with his top two wide receivers, Reche Caldwell and Doug Gabriel going for 12 and 167 with a TD. Corey Dillon had a 27 yard catch, even Chad Jackson caught something non-contagious. What, you may be wondering, is the relevance of this nearly two year old game? The Vikes pass defense was bad then, and it's worserer (yes it needed a new word) now. AP may go for 160+ but Peyton goes for 300+ and 3 TD's.

titans +1 over Bengals

Do you feel for Marvin Lewis for going with felon after felon, low character guys, or do you blame the guys themselves for showing their true colors? Now, I know Marvin did not pick up all these guys himself, but he's on the hook for a lot of them. I don't think there's a coach in the league the Marvin would not trade places with in a second. Carson Palmer has never been the same since he blew out his knee, Patriots nation. Marvin Lewis will be 10 days away from his 50th birthday on Sunday. To use some movie trailer jargon, "every man has his breaking point." How surprised would we be to read in the news that Marvin Lewis flipped out with some wild criminal act after two more losses and 3 more team arrests. I would give him a "get out of jail free" card. Actually scratch that, he decided to add character issue guy after character issue guy, and look what it has gotten him. We reap what we sow, Marvin.

Side note: How hard is it to understand that if you are the mother of a professional athlete, particularly a football player, never tell the media how your kid's feelings are hurt and the fans are being mean to him. Do I really have to say this? You think with the multi-million dollar contracts, the NFL could give out a little handbook for them to give to their mothers, "10 things not to say".

saints even over REDSKINS

Jim Zorn did not install a no huddle offense during camp or preseason. I'm assuming he knew that his west coast passing offense would be so stellar they would never need it. I will pick against the Skins every week until they are playing on a level field with the rest of the league. I can't get over this. He's an offensive specialist. He did not change the running game. What the heck did he do with his team all summer? Shockey's going to a be a monster with the Saints running low on receivers. Shouldn't David Patten start to age at some point? He was old when the Pats won their first superbowl. If I don't capitalize it will I get a letter from Goodell? Jason Campbell is going to need a therapist soon. Maybe he can go with Marvin Lewis and get a group rate.

bears +3 over PANTHERS

I have no strong feeling on this game. Both teams overachieved in week one, someone is due to flounder. Panthers have more to lose at home, so I pick them to lose. Bears will ride the energy from the "yeehaa, Rex ain't our QB no more" sentiment to a division title. If one of your star players is going to punch out a teammate, how can the "ragin' cajun" not be involved somehow, it just seems wrong. Does Steven Smith have to hear what a**hole he is on every play from trash talking defenders?

bills + 5.5 over JAGUARS

The Jags were one of those trendy picks this year. Now, the Bills are up and comers, improving defense, decent O-line, excellent running back, contemplative and improving QB, good skill position guys. Are they getting too much credit for destroying Seattle, not with this line apparently. Does Seattle ever play well when their trip is more than 2000 miles? I have not the resources for that answer, but my suspicion is not bloody likely. This game is a total toss up as far as I can tell. I go with the Bills because they, beyond any other team, have the "no one believes in us" sentiment in their favor and are getting a nice 5.5 points. Jets and Pats fight for AFC East supremacy this week. That's been the story right? You know the Bills are playing this angle up big time. Bills ride it to victory, but I feel better with those points.

SEAHAWKS -7 over 49ers

Fox must be salivating over the out of market ratings for this one. Can Mike Holmgren pull a reverse Brett Favre and retire right now? I bet he would like to. Wanted to make one more run with a team that was just an odd game and a few shoddy calls away from a title. The only thing I am sure about the 49ers is that their QB will open an Irish bar one day and call it JT O'Sullivan's. Remember when titles came out of the NFC West? Who did Mike Holmgren have incriminating photos of to get moved to the NFC West? Has any one coach ever gotten more legs out of a single superbowl win? Mike Holmgren won one Superbowl with a 3 time MVP. If that's not underachieving, then I don't know what is. Does his sister in law have as much trouble getting a word in edge-wise at Thanksgiving dinner as she does on "the view"? Can the 12th man really be a full extra man against the 49ers with a disappointing team who are dropping like flies. I vote to rename the fans of the Seahawks the 11 1/2th man. I'm trade marking that, so screw you Pat Riley. 49ers are that bad, we'll lay the 7.

falcons +7 over BUCCANEERS

Did Gruden really bench Garcia for Griese? Griese's got more lives than a cat. This is officially incriminating photo accusation week. I think Brian's dad Bob is holding the photos this time. Tampa's offense has been subpar for as long as I can remember. Isn't Gruden an offensive guru? Who would have thought that the Devil Rays would be the most relevant team in Tampa in the middle of September. Yes, they will always be the Devil Rays, D-Rays or some incarnation thereof. You do not get to arbitrarily drop part of your name for no valid reason unless you are trying cloud the obviousness of your affiliations with Disney. This does not fit for the D-Rays. Let's just change em at our leisure for the heck of it. Chiefs are now the Chefs. Jazz are now the Missionaries. Hornets are the Jazz. Lakers are the Celebrities. T-Wolves are the Lakers. Jets are the Bretts. Giants are the Tyrees. And as long as we are dropping parts of names. Red Sox become just plain Sox, White Sox become just plain White. Reds become Red.

Alright enough of this foolishness. Gruden threw twice last week for every one run. 41 passes at 5.4 yards per pass and ran 20 times for 7.3 yars per carry. Starting RB averaged 9.1 yards per carry on 10 carries. Gruden was quoted as saying this week that he needs to get Graham the ball more. Really? You think so John. Falcons cover. Can't figure out if Turner is the real deal until he plays a team has not been Millenized. Now we'll know.

JETS -1 over Patriots

Prediction: 2008 NFL season's most overused phrase: "You can't hide your QB". Well guess what, you can't hide your QB. But can your "top" wide receiver hide from your new QB when he's Vince Young sad? I can't believe Laverneus continues to cry to the press over Chad's departure. Hey Laverneus, next time you run a deep crossing route, you might not get decapitated by the safety because you didn't have to wait for Chad's Forrest Gump's feather-like -ball to finally get there. This has to be a fabrication. It's got sneaky Mangini written all over. "Hey Coles, keep crying to the media that you miss Chad and that Brett just doesn't 'get you'". We'll even keep sitting you out of practice.

Brett still has a gun. Jets have two potentially elite receives who both like to go deep. A ton of quality on the O-line which should improve as it meshes. Defense I am not sold on yet, but being taught by Belichick, I am quite certain Mangini can confuse first time starter Matt Cassel. This is the game the Patriot haters have been waiting for 7 long years. They finally have to go out there without the best player on the planet and see how that changes things.

My take is that Belichick decided a few years ago when Bill Polian cried to the league about the Pats manhandling his receivers in another Foxboro playoff loss, that with the implentation of more and more favorable offensive slanted rules, that it would be possible to construct an unstoppable offense. No more defense wins championships, it's an antiquated notion. So he sets up to build it and finally put all the pieces in place last year. And guess what, they were unstoppable. So unstoppable, that over confidence and arrogance did not allow the Patriots to adjust their offensive attack in the Superbowl to shorter passes instead of attacking the Giant safeties as they had done in week 17. All they needed to do was realize that their offensive line was not infallible and that the Giants' D-line was in the zone, and make the necessary adjustment. It did not happen.

Nonetheless, simply stopping the Giants on their final drive and the Pats still have superbowl 4 and all the accolades that would have went with it. They did not have the defense to stop the Giants on the final drive and their defense is markedly worse this year. Rodney's another year older and has to lose a step at some point. The linebacking crew is old, cept for Mayo and Thomas. The corners are led by the man that was undressed by Plax to lose the Big Game. Samuel is gone. The D-Line is another year older and Richard Seymour is not the dominant force he was a few years ago. Remember the old Richard Seymour. What Brady was to the offense, he was to the defense. Not for some time now.

My point is this. Belichick quite properly realized that he could construct an unstoppable offense with Brady and that his defense only needed to be serviceable. Why do you think this offseason he spent big bucks to resign Moss and added nothing but drafties to the defense. He had chosen his plan of attack. The back up QB situation adds more fuel to the fire. Every dollar counts on every football team, especially on the Pats. Ask Adam or Deion or, well, you know the list. I think Bill got tired of paying a veteran QB behind a QB that had never been injured. Favre, Manning and Brady had all played their entire careers without missing a start before Brady was injured this season. Brady was barely touched all of last year. I think Bill finally decided that I'm done wasting money on the Huards, Fluties, and Testaverde's of the world. I just want some young guys to pay low short money. We're not winning a title without Brady anyways, and my offense is so stacked that anyone can keep it afloat for a few weeks.

This is why the Patriots are finished. This team was constructed as an unstoppable offensive force. Last year this defense was torched by AJ Feeley and Kyle Boller. And let's talk about the back up. Matt Cassel. The line I like is that this is first start since he reached his adult height. Did they have crowd noise issues in high school Matt? Add in some offensive line issues and I see nothing but dark days ahead for Mr. Cassel.

Talk about pressure though. The Jets have to win this game. Their fans haven't stopped grinning since Brady screamed in pain. A loss here will be psychologically devestating. This has to be the most interesting and meaningful week two game ever.

CARDINALS -6 over Dolphins

Jets/Dolphins was like a post divorce family reunion game. You knew it was going to be tight because of all the drama, emotions and intense familiarity. Dolphins show their true colors and lay an egg on this trip to the desert. The Dolphins are thread-bare on talent. This is the process in year one of the Parcells rebuild. Give him credit though, he can build em. It is hard to name a meaningful contributor on the Cowboys that was not a Parcells pick up.

BRONCOS +1.5 over Chargers

The Chargers never seem to be able to live up the sum of their parts. You can learn nothing from a game against the Raiders, but I believe Cutler has turned the corner and will be a top five QB with weapons. Broncos announce their return to AFC West legitimacy with huge victory here. Chargers need to be 0-2. They don't seem to get going until Norv Turner has been tied to chair and interrogated by Jack Bauer for 45 minutes.

Note from fantasy footballers to Mike. Can you please pick a frickin running back and stick with him. The starter had 7 carries last week. And Michael Pittman is getting goal line carries. I can't take it anymore.

BROWNS +6 over Steelers

Do we overreact to Steelers destroying Texans? Do we overreact to Browns getting killed by the Cowboys. Browns are desperate to avoid 0-2 start and chants for league's only healthy QB named Brady. Slow start was inevitable with D.A. and Braylon hardly playing in preseason. I thought Donte Stallworth would be a perfect 2 to Braylon Edwards' one, but he came up lame in the warm ups and we won't see him until the fall shows are in reruns based on his injury history. Browns find some rhythm and manage to cover. They have to make this thing close or this thing will get real messy real fast.

Ravens +4.5 over TEXANS

Pseudo Monday night game. Will the Texans ever be decent? If the Texans were the Cubans, I think Mario Williams would sneak onto the plane with the Ravens and claim sanctuary in Baltimore. I have more confidence in Joe Flacco than Matt Schaub. How many more times will teams pay an unproven back up tens of millions of dollars based on almost no evidence to be their starting quarterback. Matt Schaub is this generation's Scott Mitchell.

COWBOYS -7 over Eagles

Cowboys seem back on track to peak way too early, just as they have the last two years. That means they are on track to be in top form against Philly. Will be interesting to see the difference between the St. Louis and Dallas defenses. Especially since Dallas' end of year defense looked a lot like St. Louis' start of year defense. The Cowboys defense is one of those defenses that never seems to be the sum of its parts (another phrase of the week) either. Last year, two good corners, one good safety, above average linebackers, decent d-line, stud outside LB in Demarcus and they still got repeatedly shredded by the pass at the end of last year. Now, is it possible that getting Roy Williams out of pass coverage will make that much of a difference? In a word, yes. Roy Williams is, without exception, the single worst pass coverage defensive back ever. Even if he was near the guy, he always had the amazing ability to have his arms/hands melve through the ball like he should be a character on Heroes. This change is enough. The Cowboys are now complete on defense, especially with the addition of Mr. Jones (he has not first name as far as I am concerned). You see, when your one weakness is that you are susceptible to deep passes for TD's, that's a big weakness. Hole plugged, Brady gone, nothing stands in the Cowboys way except Wade Phillips. But he won't get in the way until January.

Cowboys 34-23.

Please forgive typos and errors, editor had the week off.

NFL week one: 5 things we learned

2008-09-09T10:59:00.000-07:00

Eventful week one leaves juicy morsels for digestion and discussion:

1. Tom Brady was just one half of a pass away from throwing his first touchdown of 2008.

In his record breaking 2007 season, Tom Brady threw a touchdown pass every 11 1/2 pass attempts (11.56 if you want to get nit-picky). Brady made it 11 passes into this year before Bernard Pollard made the most noteworthy NFL contribution of his career by lunging at Brady's legs whilst Sammie Morris rode him like a cowboy. The staggering quality of Brady's 2007 performance is mind boggling. Not every 12 or 15 passes or 20 passes, but every 11.56 passes resulted in a touchdown. Unforunately for Brady and Pats' fans, he did not get past attempt 11.00.

The league has been robbed of its best player and fans, nationwide, robbed of their 800 pound gorilla villain in the Patriots. This will not effect the unabashed joy of the other 97% of NFL fans at the Patriots' inevitable floundering, but something has been lost nonetheless. None of this can console Patriots' fans who are at this very moment trying to talk themselves into believing in a QB whose last meaningful start came before he had reached his full adult height. We could ponder where the Patriots go from here, but this is 2008, so let's attack this thing with a 2008 attitude, someone has got to be responsible for this, how do we slice up the blame pie?

A. Bill Belichick: Did the "genius" do something to bring the Patriots to this point? Did week after week of reporting a non-existant shoulder injury finally catch up with Bill? Did reporting no ankle injury for the Superbowl when there clearly was one do it? Maybe this would have been alright if Bill had reported Brady's foot injury on the week one injury report. Maybe Bill had just pushed the Karma gods too far. Maybe Karma said "Hey Bill, you want to sit back every week and chuckle that healthy Brady goes on the injured list when dinged up Brady does not, well here's your payback. Let's see you mask your injury report now." Here's a preview of how it will look for the rest of 2008: "Tom Brady, out, leg".

Certainly this cannot be it. Everyone fudges their injuries reports, right? Maybe there was more bad Karma. Spygate? Those spiffy court side Celtics' Finals seats? One too many snarky responses at press conferences?

No, I still don't think so. If Bill irked the Karma gods, it had to be with fourth quarter TD's in blow out wins last year. I'm the last person who is going to bash any team for beating the ever living snot out of their opponents, and doing it consistently and repeatedly. But there comes a point when you're just being plain cruel. I think Bill reached this point multiple times last year, just ask Joe Gibbs, who is still wondering if calling a fourth or fifth timeout would have stopped the madness and had the refs call a TKO.

Miami, Week 7. Up 42-21 with 10:22 to go, Bill reinserts Brady at QB after putting in Cassel for Brady in the prior series. Cassel, of course, threw the interception for a touchdown that turned a 28 point lead into a 21 point lead. Brady promptly marches down the field in a 4 play 59 yard drive culminated with a 16 yard TD pass. It is imperative to remember that Cleo Lemon was the QB of Dolphins that day. The Dolphins would not have come back in that game if the Patriots were playing 11 Matt Cassel's on both offense and defense. This was unnecessarily rubbing salt in the wound. It's called your running game. Hand it to your RB and if you have to punt, so be it. This game was never in doubt and that TD was Brady's sixth of the game.

Bottom line: The Patriots were punished for whatever sins they committed by the Giants and Tyree's helmet. Belichick blame pie slice: 5%.

B. Blitz pick up. Brady was injured on a blitz in which Sammie Morris did not keep his man off Brady. Morris is at best the 3rd best back the Patriots have in blitz pick up, being bettered by both Maroney with Faulk being the best of the bunch. But wait a minute, why was Morris even in there? His running is stellar, his pass blocking mediocre, just ask Tom's ligaments. Maroney can't play all passing downs and Faulk was suspended for marijuana at a Lil' Wayne concert. Now we're getting somewhere. Not going to blame Morris, he did his best and is not the only guy to partially blow an assignment. Can we really blame Faulk for doing the Pot at the concert and getting busted? This just does not seem right after his productive long time Patriots career and apparent lifetime of good citizenship. NFL, do we really need a 1 game suspension for the Pot bust, at a concert no less? This wasn't Nate Newton and a couple hundred pounds. This is a league with more juice and hormones running through it than a sex change clinic. That one game suspsension seemed like nothing when it hit, but it now appears to have cost the Patriots not only the season, but a year in the prime of the best QB ever. This, of course, is assuming that he comes back 100% in 2009 which was not been the habit for people with this injury, just saying. Faulk or Maroney would have made the block.

Bottom Line: This is not Faulk's or Morris' or even the NFL's fault. Faulk gets the most blame for being a college educated 31 year old man at a Lil' Wayne Concert, however:

Blame Pie Slice: 95% for Lil' Wayne. His music so bad, grown men needs drugs to endure it.

2. The Preseason does matter:

As the years have progressed, more and more star players have played less and less in the preseason. While injuries clearly play a part, it has become clear that some have taken the perspective that preseason is an unnecessary risk. 3 examples:

A. Patriots. Brady does not set foot on field with mystery foot/bone bruise/crack. Patriots come out with mismatched offensive line leaking like a seive, Brady throwing low passes and it doesn't take 1/2 of a quarter before Brady was gone. Perhaps some live preseason game reps with this offensive line might have led to more cohesion. Perhaps Brady would have been a little more in tune to the usual collection of people nipping at his heels with some recent snaps under his belt. Perhaps preseason does matter.

B. Colts. Manning takes off whole preseason (granted this was mostly injury related) and the Colts are a disaster and get spanked by the Kyle Orton led Bears. Did I really just type that? Maybe it does matter.

C. Browns. Derek Anderson whose moniker of D.A. I am a strong proponent of, goes down with a concussion early in preseason and Braylon Edwards barely practices at all prior to week one. D.A. completes 11 total passes with Braylon hauling in 14 receiving yards in a nightmarish week one performance. Maybe's there something to this preseason thing. Not results, or points, but perhaps some reps with the people that are going to take you there, has some value.

On a wholly unrelated point, can someone please tell Romeo that down 28-7 with 10 minutes to go, is not the time to go for a field goal. Wow. Has anyone ever needed a game/clock management specialist more than poor Romeo. He could pick one at random from the dawg pound and do better than poor Romeo does.

3. Jim Zorn owes a lot of people a refund:

There's a lot to harp on with Jim Zorn here. I am going to keep it short and sweet. Remember here that Jim Zorn, an offensive specialist, did not change the running offense of the Redskins one iota. He's not running the defense either. He is in charge of the infamous "West Coast" passing game. A friend suggested that Zorny had positioned his troops a little too far West, as in running in sand or hip deep in the ocean based on the offensive performance on opening night, but that's a weak, cheap shot.

He only changed half the offense. He had the longest training camp since the Romans were gearing up for a shot at world-wide domination. And he could not find time to install a 2 minute offense. When does he think he will have time to do that in the future? When he is game planning the next week's opponent? Maybe he will do it during the bye week. That's week 5, by the way, Browns fans.

This is embarrassing and infuriating for Redskins fans. Inexcusable. As if Dan Snyder has not already compiled a short list of replacement candidates. Zorny should refund Snyder 1/16 of this years salary for each and every game the Redskins play without a no-huddle offesnse. It's like playing boxing with one arm tied behind your back. Without a no huddle offense, are they even trying? Are they even competing? You should be ashamed of yourself, Zorny.

4. Madden is offically completely senile:

This one is just sad. After a shocking revitalization last year, a more improbable comeback than John Travolta graduating from talking baby flicks to Hollywood heavyweight in the 90's, Madden is back in the toilet again. You can admit it, it had become laborious and even tense to listen to Madden in recent years. But last year he pulled it off and was at 75% of the old Madden. Now, all of that seems gone.

I honestly do not even think he can see the field compeltely anymore. He continued to rant and rave like a lunatic about that 1st quarter Manning to Plax pass. What a pass, what play, Eli Manning's amazing... He never mentioned the spectacular juggling catch that Plax made while being full body frisked by his defender. NBC kept running the replay of the this amazing catch and Madden ranted about the throw. The throw that was an interception waiting to happen if not for a spectacular receiver. The proper analysis on that play was to marvel at the quality of Plax and the confidence that Manning has in him to throw a 50/50 ball. It was painful to watch. NBC seemed to be coaxing him to mention the catch by replaying it in more and more detail, but this was a futile effort.

Overall performance was painful and I don't expect it to get much better. Listening to him with Al in the booth is like being at Thanksgiving dinner with that crazy relative just hoping against hope they don't say something massively innapropriate or embarassing. Combine this with NBC's inferior High Definition broadcast and Sunday Night Football is amateur night.

5. The hot seat is already burning for some:

-Jim Zorn. I'm sorry to put you on this list one game into your head coaching career, but two factors but you right in with the rest of these worried souls. 1. Not only did your team look awful, your QB unprepared, but when you go into a game without a no-huddle offense, are you even competing on an even field? 2. Your owner has the patience of an ADHD riddled 6 y/o after six red bulls.

-Herm Edwards. He never seems to be on anybody's hot seat and it is nothing but a mystery to me. This is the man who inherited Parcells' 2000 Jets that were one half away from the Superbowl and promptly ran them into the groung. After two years of marginal play0ff appearances with Parcells' team at 19-13 and two playoff losses to the Raiders, Herm finished his last three years at 20-28 culminating with a 4-12 season. The Chiefs then gave up a 4th round draft pick for Herm (not Randy Moss, mind you) who has quickly racked up a 13-20 record with a team that seems hands down to be by far the worst in the NFL. Add in the lack of discipline of his teams, poor clock managemt, bad play calls and generally awful game management, and you have Herm "we play to win the game" Edwards in a nutshell. Nice play calls at the end of the NE game, Herm, just keep throwing that same pass, they won't expect it again. And nice job giving your starting QB job to Brodie Croyle. Herm cannot survive past this year, I see no more than 3 wins.

This is the same coach who ran Larry Johnson into the ground a few years ago from which he has never recovered and the same man that kept running the ball against the Colts in the playoffs a few years back even though they had 9 (not 8) but 9 men in the box.

-Scott Linehan. 11-22 in his 2 plus years. If your team gets worse by leaps and bounds during your tenure, start updating your resume. From 8-8 in year one, to 3-13 in year two, to a team that is going to battle Kansas City for worst team in the league honors. They're so bad they might drive the Rams all the way back to LA. I'm setting the over/under for NFL wins by the state of Missouri at 7 and betting heavily on the under.

-Matt Millen. "Teflon Matt". I don't know how he does it. He might be the single most unsuccessful executive in the history of organized sports. Matt's Lions are 31-82 under his tenure, and he continues to draw a salary. 31-82. Just last year, the Patriots won almost 60% as many games as Millen's Lions have in 7+ years. He must have incriminating photos of the incriminating photos to still be employed. Staggering.

Quick Hits:

-Jamarcus Russell's agent owes him a big apology and compensation for what might turn into a Ryan Leaf career. September 12th. That is when Russell ended his holdout and signed with the Raiders last year. No training camp, no playbook study, no reps. 2007 was a lost year and Russell now starts 2008 as a 2nd year rookie with expectations. This is no unfair to poor Russell. You get these kids coming out of the college and they put their faith in some greedy self serving agent. Oh he got his money, $31m guaranteed, but his career might never take off after such a sputtering start. It's hard enough to be a Raider, but to stack all these additional difficulties in your way is ludicrous. And this is what his paid representative convinced him to do. Appalling.

-Aaron Rodgers performance may be the most overrated single performance by a QB ever. At home on Monday Night, against a team with a QB who might not be able to hit the broad side of a barn from 40 yards away, the Packers eeked out a victory as they hoped the Vikings would not march down the field for a go ahead touchdown down 24-19. Rodgers complied under 180 yards passing with a single touchdown. It's not that he was bad. He was fine, he was adequate. But we must remember who he did this against, the Vikings pass defense. Last year the Vikings were dead last in pass defense, giving up an average of more than 260 passing yards per game last year. There was only one other team that gave up 250 yards. The Vikings pass defense is horrendous, utterly horrendous. But that hasn't stopped everyone from saying that Rodgers has now successfully replaced Favre. He had a 178 passing yard, one touchdown game against a horrendous passing unit.

-Pathetic Victories. The Patriots and Jets take aim at one another in a battle of the most over-hyped victories of week one. Both the Patriots and Jets survived last second goal line stands that would have tied or beaten them against the Chiefs and Dolphins respectively. The Dolphins and Chiefs combined to win 5 games last year and are both look to be awful again this year. The supposed class of the AFC East eeked out these two victories by the skin of their teeth and their fan bases are behaving very oddly. Jets fans are celebrating like they have already won the division and Patriots fans have convinced themselves that 11-12 wins are still possible without the franchise.

Week 2 shocker: Raiders beat Chiefs at KC. Chiefs really are that bad. Herm showing more of his brilliance now appears to be leaning towards QB by committee. That always works well.